Absinthe novel Chapter 34

"Stop!" I said, devastated to hear that Jiwoo had to experience all that in the hands of a gay teacher at a young age.

"Sorry," Jiwoo replied.

"No, I'm sorry." I said. "You should have reported him."

"My mom told me I should have said yes and asked for more money. My stepdad was furious that I said no."

I didn't know how to react, so I just kept quiet. The whole thing was too depressing.

"So I let him do it. I couldn't afford to be a high school dropout," Jiwoo said, and my world fell apart.

It has always been difficult living as a gay guy. I mean, I did get fired for being gay, and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. Then there's the notion that we're always thirsty for sex, that we're willing to open our mouths wide and spread our legs apart as soon as a dick comes our way.

And no one takes us seriously in almost every industry, except maybe for fashion and entertainment. It's a never-ending struggle for us to prove to everyone that there's so much more to us than our sexual preference.

That's why it infuriates me whenever I hear about gays tarnishing the image the rest of us have worked hard to build, abusing their authorities, and forcing themselves on the straight populace.

Unforgivable.

"Although in hindsight, I guess it would have been better to just drop out," said Jiwoo. "I wasn't able to finish college anyway." He fiddled with his fork before continuing. "I met that bastard Jesus again four years later, I think, in one of the bars I worked at." I was seriously dreading the words he was going to say next. "He bragged to everyone around that I couldn't get enough of him. Then, he slid a few hundred-peso bills into my pocket before copping a feel."

"Fuck," I said. "On behalf of the gay federation, I would like to apologize."

"Hahahaha!" Fortunately, it was the genuine sort of laughter. "That's what I realized. I thought he acted that way because he was gay, and I thought all of you were one and the same."

"That's why you did what you did..."

"Among other things," Jiwoo said. "But I know now that my math teacher did that not because he was gay but because he was a disgusting person."

I nodded, thankful for reasons I couldn't quite articulate.

"When you got mad and stopped talking to me," Jiwoo began. "I visited him in my old school."

"..."

"I stalked him for a bit. Followed him around until he got home."

"Jiwoo—"

"I didn't know what got into me. I entered his house and grabbed him by the collar. I just wanted to beat him. It felt like he was the reason why I made you angry, like he was the reason why I lost you."

"God, please tell me you didn't do anything to him."

"That's what's confusing: I couldn't do it. I couldn't hit him despite my anger."

I sighed in relief. Jiwoo wasn't looking at me; he was staring at the transparent ceiling.

"What he did to me had nothing to do with what I did to you," Jiwoo said, finally. "I needed to own up to how I acted. I'm really sorry, BJ."

"Okay," I said.

"Okay?" Jiwoo asked. "You mean we're friends again?"