Accidental Surrogate for Alpha novel Chapter 164

Ella

I’m on cloud nine when we return from the refugee camps. My wolf is practically crowing with her success supporting our mate in his darkest and most thick-headed moment, and even my sister’s troubles with Roger aren’t enough to bring me down.

I take a quick shower before dinner, my mind swirling with ideas to surprise Sinclair this evening. He’s been going through so much and trying to bear it all alone, and all I want is to be there for him. I decide to sneak away while he’s finishing up his work so I can task a few servants with collecting some romantic items for tonight: massage oils so I can work the knots out of his tense muscles, chocolate and candies to indulge his sweet tooth… and maybe spread over my body for him to devour, candles and rose petals to set the mood, even some sexy pregnancy lingerie to tempt him.

I’m so excited to put my plan into motion that I’m grinning when I exit the bathroom, still toweling my hair dry. Unfortunately I stop dead in my tracks when I see him waiting for me, seated at the end of the bed watching me with a somber expression. Instantly I know that something is wrong, but I can’t imagine what it might be after we had such a great day.

“Sit down, trouble.” Sinclair instructs gently, patting the bed beside him.

My anxiety immediately spikes. I can count the number of times my mate has been in our bed without touching me in some way on one hand. Still, I gingerly cross the floor, cradling my pregnant belly in my hands, and perch beside him. I’m sure he can sense my unease, but instead of sending me waves of comfort in response, I feel only regret pulsing through our bond. “What is it?”

Sinclair gazes down at me with grim determination. “I’ve thought about this a lot, Ella. I’ve tried my best to be objective and not let my own wants sway me, and I’ve decided that when I leave on my diplomatic mission… I can’t, in good conscience, take you with me.”

My heart sinks, and my wolf whines pitifully in my head. “Why not? You promised you would think about it.”

“I have, baby.” Sinclair insists. “And it wasn’t easy. But I’d rather trust you with the devil I know than the one I don’t. I know the security risks here, I know the guard set up and emergency contingencies, I know Gabriel. I can’t say that about any of the places I’m going. I tried to work out some way to bring you along but at the end of the day I simply can’t trust unknown wolves with your safety, and I have to think that the Royal Palace is the most secure place in Vanara, whether I’m here or not.”

“But if I came along I wouldn’t just be hovering in the background.” I argue, pulling both of my legs onto the bed and turning towards him. “Think about how much I benefitted the campaign. If you need to schmooze and charm the Alphas, I can help!”

“I know.” Sinclair confirms. “I thought about that, but I’m not sure the advantage you provide would outweigh the risk.”

“You mean I might be able to help, but not enough to really matter?” I say, feeling my heart fall.

“That is not what I mean.” Sinclair corrects immediately. “I mean that I would rather try my best and fail, than for both of us to try only to end up losing you or Rafe.”

“But what about the third possibility?” I press. “Where you take me and we win them all over and no one gets hurt?”

Sinclair’s mouth quirks, his eyes crinkling with affection. “It’s still not worth risking the second option, little one.”

I can feel my lower lip beginning to quiver, and I hear his wolf whine in my head, agitated by my imminent tears. “So you’d rather lose the war, than let me take just a fraction of the risks you are?”

“Ella,” Sinclair murmurs, sliding his hand around my nape. “I believe that I can build the alliances we need, whether you are with me or not – not because I don’t appreciate how much value you bring to the table, but because I’m determined to get it done no matter what. I have no plans on losing the war, and I know you don’t need to be protected and spoiled, but I care about you too much to do otherwise. So please let me do this.”

“But we’re supposed to be a team.” I insist, staring at my lap.

“We are a team.” Sinclair professes emphatically. “But most teams require the players to fill different positions to support one another. I’m helping the team by meeting with the Alphas, and you’ll be helping the team by helping Gabriel make arrangements for the refugees arriving from the continent, and helping Hugo respond to developments back home – plan countermoves when I’m out of reach. Not to mention growing our pup so that we have an heir when it’s time to take the throne.”