Bad Love: An Alpha's Regret (Leah and Aaron) novel Chapter 294

Chapter 294
EMILY
The following night, I find myself standing in front of a full-length mirror, glaring at the reflection of me wearing a silver, floor-length silky gown that no doubt cost a small fortune.
When I was younger-before I was taken-I used to love nothing more than picking out expensive couture dresses, spending pampered hours getting my hair, nails and makeup. done for a party just like this one.
I would have loved being the center of attention. I would have loved being all sparkly and frivolous, as I danced and laughed the night away without a care in the world.
That girl doesn’t exist any longer.
That girl was kidnapped, locked away in a tomb, forgotten, left to die a slow death alone.
The girl I am now-the monster-still looks pretty as a picture on the outside.
But inside is all twisted and broken and ugly.
I fear it’s only a matter of time before Aaron and the rest of the pack see what’s beneath the façade and reject me outright.
They’ll banish me from their pack-or worse-and go about their lives.
It’s probably what I deserve.
But it’s not what I want.
For a second, longing comes over me, and the girl I used to be wants her mate.
Axel.
For him to accept me and love me and save me from myself.
I turn sharply away from the mirror, because I can’t stand to look at myself any longer.
And I can’t afford to feel things like that.
Axel rejected me.
He made his feelings and intentions clear.
How can it hurt so much when I don’t even know this man or
his wolf? It’s cruel that I should long for something that I’ve never even experienced.
I’m not going to be the pathetic girl who chases after him when he’s already stated plainly that he doesn’t want me.
There’s a knock at the door, and-as if summoned by my thoughts alone-Axel steps into the room before I can even give him permission to enter.
He makes no effort to hide the fact that his gaze is dragging slowly up and down my body, and it leaves tendrils of heat in its wake, making me feel all shivery and off-balance.
“Aaron said it’s time for you to come down,” Axel says in a low drawl-the way he always talks, as if normal words can be made into some kind of sensual sport.
And yes, I knew the party was in full swing, but I’ve been hiding up in my old/new bedroom.
I want to protest.
I want to fight and run and tear off this stu id dress and disappear out into the night.
Except both Aaron and Axel have warned me there’ll be consequences if I don’t cooperate, and part of me is terrified. to find out what those consequences might be.
I don’t think either of them would physically hurt me.
But I learned the hard way that there are far more painful and deeper ways to be hurt, other than just physical pain.
I don’t answer Axel, I barely acknowledge his presence as I pick up my skirt from the floor and stride past him.
I swear I feel the trail of his fingers across my hip as I go by, leaving me shivering, but I tell myself it was probably my imagination.
Axel despises me.
He tolerates me because Aaron requires it of him.
So why would he touch me?
I walk with a steady pace downstairs, the noise of the party coming up to meet me, while Axel is a step behind me the entire way.
When I reach the bottom, Aaron appears from somewhere, looking relieved.
“Good, you came down. We can do the rounds before they start bringing out the food.”
My brother doesn’t give me a chance to reply or catch my breath.
Next thing I know he’s walked me up to a group of people and then it’s a blur of, “you remember this pack member, right?” Or, “this pack member joined five years ago.”
And everything in between.
Does he expect me to remember everyone’s name?
Or anyone’s names?
Some of them are vaguely familiar, but it’s clear I’ve forgotten a lot in ten years.
Axel trails after me like a silent shadow, and the more people we talk to, the more it feels like the walls are closing in.
I’m trying to be polite and smile and act like the sister Aaron expects me to be.
Trying to be gracious when people seem genuinely happy to see me again.
But it’s getting harder and harder.
Everything feels like too much.
The lights are too bright. The music and chatter are too loud.
There’s a million different scents and my brain seems to want to take notice of every single one of them.
It’s too stuffy but I feel cold and then I start feeling dizzy and this vague sense of panic makes it harder and harder to breathe.
A firm, warm hand clamps around my elbow and I become acutely aware of Axel standing right next to me.
“I think maybe Emily would like a drink, Aaron, and maybe some food, now they’re starting to bring it out,” Axel says above my head to my brother, as if I’m not even there.
But maybe I’m not.
It’s like I’m having this weird out-of-body experience.
“Yes, that’s probably a good idea,” Aaron responds, sounding distracted, as if his attention has already moved onto something else. “We can meet the rest of the guests later.”
The rest?
Haven’t I already been paraded in front of enough pack.
members?
Axel tugs then, and I blindly stumble after him, not even asking where we’re going.
Next thing I know, cool, fresh air hits my face as we step
outside, and I can finally breathe again.
Axel sits me down on one of the outdoor benches, and then presses a cold glass of water into my hand.
I don’t even know where he got it from.
“Sip slowly and try to take some deep breaths,” he tells me in a low, gentle voice.
I do as he says, rapidly feeling better.
But then I’m immediately suspicious.
“Why are you helping me?”
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