Be My Mate novel Chapter 4

Sabrina's POV

Standing outside of Xander's changing room. I know he is inside, as I can hear his heartbeat and I'm right outside his door, cowardly hiding my scent so he can't tell that it's me, standing out here

a stalker.

How do I even look at him? How do I face him after what I have just been told?

The door opens to reveal a shirtless Xander. He looks down at me, at my tear stained face as he gently grabs my hand.

"Sabrina? What's wrong baby?" He asks me. I throw my arms around him as I start to sob again.

Xander stays silent, holding me tightly as I broke down, my insides were at war. Even though Athena and I love Xander, it was no secret that my body called for Aiden. I fight it day in and day out, happy to do so as long as I did not have outside obstacles fighting me too.

'They aren't wrong though. You are not above Sacred law and if you don't obey it, why should they?' Athena says to me.

No, they are right. I was so mad at Percy for going against the very law I am fighting.

I admit, I've been the world's biggest hypocrite. I just love Xander and I don't really embrace change, I can't embrace it and can I be blamed though? I never get to enjoy the pleasures I'm given long enough before they are taken away from me.

I pull away from Xander and look him in the eyes.

"We need to talk and you won't like what I have to say. I don't like it but I don't know what to do and I need your calm nature and logic around this. I need alpha Xander and my mate at the same time." I say and he leads me in to his room before closing the door behind him.

"What's wrong Sabrina?" He asks again.

"I just had a conversation with my mother and Josey." I say as I scratch the back of my head.

Xander looks at me, his face not revealing much.

"Xander, they won't accept us. With me going against sacred law and staying with you. I feel so defeated, so drained. I did everything they wanted me to do and now they want to take you away from me. I don't know what to do." I blurt out really fast.

"Hold on, say that again but really slowly." Xander says to me, squeezing my hand.

"They say we can't be together." I say and he doesn't seem shocked. Xander let's go of my hand and steps back from me.

"We knew this would happen Sabrina. It's actually pretty stupid to think we could get away with it." Xander says to me. He turns around, his back to me.

"Sacred law. How dare we think we are anywhere above it? I know you know I've been struggling with you being someone else's mate." Xander says to me.

"I know...." I say sadly. I've known for a long time.

"I love you Sabrina but my upbringing, the law engrained in my head, I can't help but struggle with the decision we made to stay together. I know I said I'd rather die than lose you..." Xander says to me and I walk around him so I can better face him.

"Don't say it!" I scream at him and he closes his eyes to fight back the tears that were threatening to fall.

"Sabrina, I can not survive it. I refuse to survive losing another mate." He says to me.

"So you are going to what? Kill yourself? Xander do you hear what you are saying?" I ask and he chuckles.

"You'll be as good as dead Sabrina. Living in the heavenly realm, taking Adrastos with you, who will I stay with?" He asks. I don't respond because he was right.

There was no way of him visiting, finding a way up there.

"I won't lie Sabrina. You came at the perfect time and gave me hope again. You opened up feelings inside of me that I thought were long buried with the burial of my first mate. I loved again and goddess that's a great feeling but I will not be mentally strong enough to live on without you or our son. How will my wolf survive it? The loss of the luna to our pack?" He says to me.

"It's selfish to assume that I'll be able to just go on with life. Losing a mate is not easy Sabrina, especially when you feel them die and now I have to let you go. The only way that will happen is if I die, otherwise there is no way I am letting you go just like that." Xander says to me before walking out of his room and banging the door.

I fall to my knees and break out in sobs. I didn't hear the door open and close.

I didn't even smell a familiar scent pull me up and in for a hug. As soon as my head hit his chest I knew who it was.

My dear brother.

"I kind of overheard. I'm so sorry Sabrina." Cj says to me and I continue to cry.

"I forgot....er... something.." Xander says walking in on Cj and I.

Cj pulls away from me and turns to face Xander.

"You can't leave her like this mate. At least talk about it before you both say things you can never take back. Everyone else is against your union, don't be at odds with each other." Cj says to Xander.

"I'm talking to you as well Sabrina." He says before walking out and closing the door.

I look at Xander and he's just standing, staring back at me.

"I'm so sorry. I did this to us and now I've put your life in danger." I say.

"I stand by my words. You are my great love Sabrina. I don't want to love anyone else, I don't want to be with anyone else." He says to me as he walks closer to me.