Big Bad Wolfie novel Chapter 34

I didn't look up once, not even to see where I was going.

My talent and memory of the place led me through the halls.

I'm too pissed to do anything but glare at the ground. I'm still running, so the tile flooring is whizzing past.

F**k him.

I'm freaking out.

Why am I freaking out?

I feel like my lungs are closing in.

This comes up all the time.

Why am I so. . . UGH!

People talk s**t all the time.

Why am I so. . ?

Why am I . . ?

F**king s**t! I can't even think straight!

I finally reached my bedroom and flung the door open. After storming in I slammed it shut again.

F**k EVERYONE who had ANYTHING to do with this!

His presence is driving me insane.

The panic attacks never come this easily!

Not even when I'm on my period or some s**t!

If Wolfie and I can't figure this bulls**t out after I've taken my house back, I'll have to give up my position. No leader can be on the brink of a panic attack at the mere mention of a war, or at the asking of a few questions.

No leader can be what I used to be.

What I've worked my f**king @ss off to get away from.

Sure, the panic attacks still come, and the anxiety will always be there, but I prided myself on being able to keep my s**t together when I need to.

And then this motherf**king s**tface comes into my life and puts me five years back.

I thought mates were supposed to help with this s**t!

So somebody please explain to me why I'm getting that familiar tightening feeling in my chest!?

Or why the same thing has almost happened like six times today!?

I dove into my bed and took the biggest gulp of air I could. I buried my face into the pillow and screamed.

I don't care if people think it's childish, it's better than the two alternatives.

A full blown panic attack or a full blown killing spree.

When I finished with my cries, I was out of breath, so I focused on breathing in and out.

After a bit, my racing heart going tens of beats per minute, went back to its normal two.

I took another nose full of sweet air.

I just can't seem to get enough of it.

I buried my face deeper and deeper into the pillow, taking it all in.

That ugly feeling in my chest, head and stomach finally settled into what it usually felt like when things calmed down.

Exhausted and empty.

But better than overwhelmed and suffocating.

And then I felt the bed beside me dip.

•••Jason's POV•••

"What is it with her and her mood swings?!" I literally hollered at my beta once my mate ran out of the room.

My stomach always does somersaults when she does that.

When she suddenly seems so broken and stressed and sad it sends a twinge through my heart.

It stresses me the f**k out!

"She'll go from fine to. . . To," my voice cracked as I gestured toward the door she ran out of.

"Well did it ever occur to you, you idiot, that she's never actually fine?!" Zach snapped at me.

Well shi —

"Did it ever occur to you maybe she always feels that way and she just hides it! But you drive her so crazy she can't help but lose her s**t?!" He stared at me angrily.

I didn't say anything.

I don't know what to do.

Malaki whined.

If I let myself get close to her now —

"Well?!" Zach screamed after I didn't answer.

I bit the inside of my cheek.

What do we do?!

'I don't know, the plan was to seduce and intimidate her. Not drive her to despise us.'

Ugh!

. . . I'm gonna regret this

"F**k!" I shook my head and followed where Maria disappeared.

I'm getting in too deep.

She's chipping at my resolve.

And that's the only thing keeping me from saying f**k it to all this bulls**t and giving her everything she's ever wanted and needed.

The Moon Goddess gave me the perfect person to ruin all my plans.