Bleeding obsession novel Chapter 63

Sarah's pov

"Skyler Don't run..."

I yelled as my little prince gets too much excited when he visit the park.

"Okay mom..."

He yelled back and stopped for me. I held his hand as we crossed the road and reached the park.

The day is warm, Skyler and I always come to this park every Sunday. I love to see his smile and laugh. It's so melodious.

He the only one who is keeping me sane now. He is the only light in my dark world.

It's been five years that I have left everything and start a new life but I would be lying if I say that I started a new life.

I couldn't forget it, no matter what. These five years were not less than hell. People says time heals everything but looks like even time doesn't have any mercy on me.

Each and every second is carved on my mind. Skyler's grey eyes remind me of him, his behavior is exactly like him.

I wanted to protect Skyler from him and from those people whom I called family once and I have succeeded in it. I was afraid at the initial stage but nothing happened, thanks to Damian.

Skyler is growing up so fast and I am getting sick day by day. My anxiety and depression has come to it's worst stage. After that night I knew that it's going to be difficult to handle and I was right. I couldn't take those medicines which were giving me relief because I was pregnant. It would have been dangerous for my baby.

I tried to fight it for Skyler but couldn't. I had to take therapies, I attended sessions and joined various groups which was helping for mental health. I used to make myself busy in something which will distract me from those memories. Days were easy but night's were hell, I couldn't sleep and used to cry whole night. Those seven months were hardest part of my life.

When Skyler was born, I was happy but postpartum depression hit me like a bitch which made my condition worst. I could see changes in my behavior. I got agressive, little things made me angry, even when Skyler used to cry.

I had no choice but to start those medicines again. Doctors warned me that it's harmful for me but I can't stop it now. I am aware that I am addicted. My body trembles very badly if I miss the doze. Sometimes I get panic attacks too. I know I am eating poison everyday but still I can't stop.

My past has done irreparable damage to me and it was my fault. I shouldn't have trust anyone. I shouldn't have keep my expectations high and let my guard down.

No one ever taught me to let it go, if someone wants to leave you then let them go and move on. I wish someone has teach me something like this. I wish I had parents who support and guide me in these situations. Life would have been so much easy.

I sometimes tried to assure myself that it's okay. It's okay to not care. That man must be happy in his life. May be he has got married and moved on. It's so unnecessary to cry over past but this stupid heart doesn't listen to me. It hurts.

There are so many questions which I have to ask but he won't answer. There are so many unsaid things but he is not here to listen. I have so many complaints but he doesn't care, He never did.

There Is nothing left for me in this world, I just want to live for Skyler. To be honest I don't know how much days I have left in this world. I can feel my body getting weak day by day, changes are noticable. I would have finish this miserable life long time ago but I can't let Skyler live the way I did. He deserve love and I will give that to him. He won't suffer like me. But sometimes it scares me when I think about my health, what if I won't woke up next morning. What he will do.

"Mom... Let's go home. I am hungry..."

Skyler said pulling on my t-shirt.

"Okay let's go..."

I held his hand as we head back.

"Can I have pizza today..."

He asked in his cute puppy voice.

"Okay..."

I chuckled.

"And pastry too and ice cream..."

This boy is so demanding just like his___

No I have to stop doing this, that man has nothing to do with us. He is no one.

"No Skyler... You have cold you can't eat ice cream..."

I said.

"Okay fine... Then next week?"

He asked with puppy eyes and I smiled.

"Okay next week..."

He is a smart boy and too mature for his age. He don't trouble me. Sometimes I feel I am lacking as a mother. Am I giving him enough love and care. Is he happy with me.

"Thank you"

He jumped excitingly.

If it wasn't for Skyler, I wouldn't have been alive now. Sometimes I woke up with the nightmare that Xavier is taking him away from me. What if one day he find out and come to destroy me again. What if he takes my baby away from me. I can't take that, I'll die. It's a worst nightmare of my life.

"Skyler wait we have to take your syrup for Pharmacy... You still have cough..."