Dear Soldier, Put Your Gun Down novel Chapter 81

Matt stared into her eyes; his eyes were bloodshot, flashing with complicated emotions. He looked lost, furious, and afraid at the same time. He really loved her and truly hoped that she loved him back. If she said that she loved him, he would let go of the past and even apologize to her about his ruthless behavior.

Winona grabbed the bedsheet tightly with her fingers. Her silence stabbed his heart like a poisonous needle. He moved even more savagely as if this was a contest. But she didn’t say anything and just bit her lips. Though, the more she acted like this, the more unrelenting he got.

This continued until midnight. They were both exhausted and he was covered with sweat. His sweat dripped on her body, and it scorched. He yelled ferociously with a coarse voice, “Say that you love me!”

Her heart hurt looking at him like this, but she couldn’t involve him in her personal grudge. She was hurt, but she opened her dry mouth, and a coarse voice came out of her raw throat, “Let’s… get a divorce.”

He clenched his fist, punched the bed harshly and broke the bed frame. He howled word by word, “You… you dare say that again!”

She didn’t have the heart to look at him. She closed her eyes and said, “Matt, let me go.”

He stood up abruptly, wrapped a towel around his hips and walked out of the room. He slammed the door hard and Winona curled up into a ball on the bed. Her heart was aching, and she was trembling, even breathing was painful, “Matt, I’m sorry…”

She cried silently. She had never felt this helpless before in so many years. Her heart ached tremendously. She loved Matt without a doubt and hence didn’t want him to be involved in her problem. He was the best general in Coscana and had a bright future. He achieved everything he had today through his sweat and blood, who was she to ruin his everything because of her personal grudge? She believed that if she told him the truth, Matt would throw away everything and get revenge together with her without any hesitation. But this was too heavy for her, she didn’t want to ruin the person she loved.

She couldn’t sleep well. She sat up even though her body was in pain and looked out of the window. It was nighttime and the wind was howling. The heavy rain was pattering loudly on the window.

There were cigarette butts all over the study room, in the ashtray and on the floor. The unpleasant scent filled the room. He sat on the chair like a statue. The ash from the cigarette was scorching his finger but he didn’t feel any pain. He couldn’t figure out why Winona wanted to get a divorce. Even though he forced her to marry him, but she wouldn’t only ask for a divorce at this point even if it was because of Benjamin. He knew that Winona loved him, otherwise, she wouldn’t risk her life multiple times just to come to him, to see if he was safe and well.

As dawn was approaching, Matt crushed out a cigarette butt with his foot. He then abruptly stood up and walked towards the bedroom. He felt regretful the moment he saw the bruises on her fair skin. He sat down next to her and ruffled her hair gently, “I've called the doctor. She will give you a full-body checkup later.”

Winona felt a tinge on her nose. Did he think that she was leaving him because she was terminally ill? She replied, “Matt, I’m not sick.”

“It’s okay. The doctor will give you a full-body checkup later.”

He grabbed her hand and kissed it softly, “I told you this before, you will be mine forever and ever, even after you die. I won’t give you up no matter what.”

Winona wanted to cry, but she held her tears back and withdrew her hand, “I’m not sick. I just… wanted a life of my own.”

He stared at her with red and swollen eyes. His chest was heaving as if he was trying to suppress his anger. He tried to calm down and then he said as composedly as he could, “You can live however you want, and I’ll be by your side.”

“Okay! I don’t want such a high-key life. I don’t want to be the center of people’s attention and the source of people’s gossip. I don’t want to be worried about you night and day. Is that possible?”