Fifty Shades Darker (book 5) novel Chapter 115

Our relationship rests on this moment.

If she can’t do this…

If she can’t touch me.

If I can’t have her.

I wait.

Please, Ana.

Tentatively, she reaches up and places her hand on my chest.

Heat and pain spiral across my chest as the darkness unleashes its claws. I gasp and close my eyes.

I can do this.

I can do this for her.

My girl.

Ana.

She runs her hand up to my shoulder, her fingertips scalding my skin. I groan; I want this so much and I dread it so much.

To dread your lover’s touch. What kind of fuckup am I?

She pulls me down to her and moves her hands to my back, holding me. Her palms on my flesh. Branding me. My strangled cry is half groan, half sob. I bury my face in her neck, hiding, seeking solace from the pain, but kissing her, loving her, as her fingers cross the two scars on my back.

It’s almost unbearable.

I kiss her, feverishly, losing myself in her tongue and her mouth as I fight my demons, using only my lips and my hands. They skim over her body while her hands move over mine.

The darkness is swirling, trying to dislodge her, but Ana’s fingers are on me. Caressing me. Feeling me. Gentle. Loving. And I steel myself against my fear and the pain.

I trail my lips down to her breasts and close them around one nipple, tugging until it’s hard and standing at attention. She groans as her body rises to meet mine and she scrapes her fingernails across the muscles on my back. It’s too much. Fear erupts in my chest, hammering my heart. “Oh, fuck, Ana,” I cry out and stare down at her. She’s panting, eyes bright and brimming with sensuality.

This is turning her on.

Fuck.

Don’t overthink this, Grey.

Man up. Go with it.

Taking a deep breath to slow my pounding heart, I skate my hand down her body, over her belly, to her labia. I cup her and my fingers are wet with her anticipation. Easing them inside her, I circle them and she pushes her pelvis up to meet my hand.

“Ana.” Her name is an invocation. I release her and sit up, and her hands fall away so she’s no longer touching me. I feel relieved and bereft at once. I remove my boxers, freeing my cock, and lean over to the bedside table for a condom. I hand it to her. “You want to do this? You can still say no. You can always say no.”

“Don’t give me a chance to think, Christian.” She’s breathless. “I want you, too.” She rips open the foil with her teeth and slowly, with trembling fingers, slides it onto me.

Her fingers on my erection are torture. “Steady. You are going to unman me, Ana.”