Forbidden Heat novel Chapter 108

“It wasn’t a joke. You asked for my truthful answer and that is my truthful answer. I believe that your best option is to marry me and the sooner the better,” Edward replied without batting an eye. He was so serious.

“Can you tell me why?” I asked.

“It’s late. You must be tired so you should sleep now. We can pick this up tomorrow,” Edward replied as he swiftly got off the sofa and headed for the door.

“Edward…” I called his name softly.

“My bedroom is at the end of the hall…in case you need something,” Edward said without turning back.

He was gone before I could think of something to say. What should I do now? Do I take his advice and just go to bed?

…

This is bad. I’ve been tossing and turning in bed for hours now. No matter what I do, I cannot fall asleep. My mind is so restless with all the new and shocking information that it had to take in. I’m overthinking everything and rerunning what happened and Edward’s words in my mind. This is driving me crazy. I’m sweating and everything about this bed and this room feels uncomfortable. Although, I’m sure it isn’t this room’s fault. The fault lies with my stress and my inability to control it.

I fumbled in the dark for my phone which I had placed on the bedside table. 3:45AM read the time on my phone’s screen. I felt tired but I’m still wide awake. Well, it’s not like I have to be up early tomorrow. In fact, my life is so empty right now. I don’t have anything to do and no plans. I wonder how much longer my life will be like this. I want to find some purpose in life or maybe I just want to find a job like what people my age are supposed to do.

I haven’t started any serious job hunting yet, but I think it is probably easier to get a job than to figure out my messed-up love life right now. I’m unsure what sort of job I want but figuring that out must be easier than figuring out my emotions. Both Lucien and Reiner had not contact me, they must know that I’m with Edward. I’m not sure how to face Lucien when I get back.

This is driving me insane! I rolled over onto my belly and put the pillow over my head. The true problem right now for me is that I’m not sure how I should feel about Lucien and Edward anymore…

‘You shouldn’t stop loving him just because he isn’t your first love but whether you should continue to love him or not depends on the present. Same goes for my case. Should you fall madly in love with me suddenly just because you found out that I was your first love from ten years ago? Of course not, right?’

Edward’s words kept running through my mind on repeat and it’s making me restless. He’s partly right but not completely. I still love Lucien. My love for him has not disappeared but I cannot deny that there must be some impact. The same probably goes for how I feel towards Edward.

Oh no! I forgot to tell Edward something super important! How could I have forgotten? I bolted up in bed as I was overwhelmed with guilt. Edward is probably asleep right now, so I guess I have no other choice but to tell him tomorrow. Tomorrow for sure, I will tell him the moment I see him. This should not be delayed any further than it already is.