Hatred With Benefits novel Chapter 20

EVA.

Emerson doesn't leave and he doesn't pull away. He continues to give gentle pats to my back with my head hanging on his shoulder. He doesn't say anything either, and I've never appreciated his silence as much as I do now. He lets me feel everything I need to feel with his embrace giving me the comfort I didn't know I would find in anyone. Especially not him.

"I'm done. " I whisper, pulling away from his embrace. Emerson meets my eyes and I give him a small smile as I lift my hand to my face, to wipe my tears– trying not to make myself more pathetic than I already look before him.

Emerson surprises me by lifting his hand with mine. Each harsh swipe of my fingers across my wet cheeks, gives a soothing, slow stroke of his.

I meet his eyes and they are closed off once more. I can't detect what he's thinking— or feeling. He's back to the Emerson Ford I know.

"Do you need to cry some more, Carson?" And we're back to the first name. I try to find any hint of mockery in his voice— I can't find any. It was a genuine question.

Feeling much light-hearted than earlier, I throw a tease at him. "Why? Trying to save how pathetic I look so you can taunt me about it later?"

Emerson smiles. A real smile that tightens his eyelids and not the one he gives when he's insulting me. I would say it's beautiful if I didn't know who he is.

"I'm running out of things to taunt you about, Carson. I would appreciate it if you provide one yourself. " He catches onto my game, but there's softness behind his words. Softness he never gives until now. And as much as I appreciate Emerson trying to soften his usual blow, I don't want him to hold back either.

"Hey, Ford. " I call casually and he lifts his brows. I clasp my hands to my thighs before I speak. "Don't go easy on me because of this. Let's act like this moment never happened and go back to hating each other as soon as we leave this room. "

"I never stopped through the entire moment, " he raises a shoulder. "I'll just prefer you hating me wholeheartedly, then halfheartedly. "

I shake my head. "You can never stop, can you?"

Emerson gives me a half-smile. "Believe it or not, Carson. Making you hot is one of my favourite things to do. " When he swipes his tongue across his lips along with those words, I can't decide if he means what I'm thinking or what he's supposed to mean. Either way, I find those words sexier than I should.

Emerson stands when I give no response and my eyes run along with each movement. He's bare-chested with his mouthwatering skin staring back at me, tempting me to make a move... Take a touch.

"Is there something else you want to do?" Emerson speaks, distracting me from my uneven thoughts and I lift my gaze to him. "What do you mean?"

"I just thought there might be something you love to do on this day. Other than locking yourself in your room to cry. " He chuckles lightly and I throw him a glare.

"And if there is?" I ask him. "How's it of your concern?"

"It's not. " He says. "But I think I can offer a bit more comfort before I leave this room, Carson. " Before he goes back to throwing my troubles in my face.

"But if there's not..." He trails off and turns around, attempting to walk out of the room before my voice stops him. "There's something!" My voice comes out sharp and I clear my throat when Emerson turns back to me.

"I usually go somewhere and my parents always find me there. " I have no doubt they must have searched for me there.

"Do you want to go?" He surprises me by asking and I stay silent for some seconds before shaking my head. "No. Not this time. "

Emerson nods and lingers on his feet before he turns around and walks out of the room.

I sigh as I watch his frame disappear through the door before lifting my phone. Notifications of missed calls and unread texts stare back at me, and my hand hovers over the screen. Deciding I want to end this day without the usual security of my parents, I throw the phone to the side and jump when my door opens.

Emerson's head peeks through the door and he offers a smile. "You want to come watch some movies with me?"

I drop my shoulders. "I thought you were going to–"

Emerson walks through the door and strides towards me. "This is not me holding back, Carson. " He assures me before holding out his hand for me.

I stare at his face to his hand then back to his face, before swatting his hand away and moving from the bed. "I would rather die than hold your hand. "

He smirks. "Careful what you wish for, Carson. " It's the only response he gives before he leads me out of the room.

We walk into the living room and I fall on the couch with Emerson settling beside me, leaving a reasonable space—that I appreciate—between our bodies.

"Action?" Emerson asks as he grabs the remote and switches through the channels.

"Fuck no. "