Her Volkovs #Book 4 novel Chapter 40

St. Michael Hospital

Nikolai fell to his knees in the hallway outside intensive care as Devon delivered the news to them. Alexei was fighting his way to see Belle but the General's security prevented him to go inside the room. From not too far was Belle's mother, sobbing on her husband's chest.

Matushka was calming Alexei down while the other brother was aghast- still on the floor, speechless.

"I just want to see her! I want to see her! Belle!" Yelled Alexei.

"Alexei please..."

"Matushka! I need to see her. I am her husband! I have the right to see her!"

"She doesn't want to see you or Nikolai or anyone from your family. She needs to rest. You must leave." Said Devon with a hint of warning on his tone. He steps away and then instructed something to the Palawi security men.

"We need to give her time, Alexei. Your wife is going through a very hard time. She needs to rest. We will come back later." Said Matushka, pleading to her son.

Alexei clenches his jaw, eyes glistening with tears. He turns his back and pressed his fist to the wall. In his mind, there is no one to blame but him. He knows how badly his actions had hurt Belle and how things they have done pushed their wife to miscarriage.

Irene holds back her tears as she consoles Nikolai. He just lost his babies and he knows he is about to lose his wife as well. The Russian Mafia Boss has just made the biggest mistake and it cost him the lives of his unborn children and the woman to whom his world revolves around.

The Volkov matriarch is afraid that Nikolai goes back into the rabbit hole. She has seen how destructive he was to himself and to everyone around him when he went through something like this in the past. She knows how much Belle means to the brothers. She is their world, she's the air that they breathe and the sun that gives light into their lives. Irene can't even begin to imagine what will happen if they lose Belle.

Irene cups Nikolai's face to force him to look her in the eye, "Look at me Nikolai. You have to pick yourself up. Belle needs a little breathing space right now but we will come back and get her. You still have a wife who needs you. You have to hold on."

Nikolai wasn't able to say a single word. In his mind, what he did to her was unforgivable. Belle was so convinced that his love for her was a sham. He recalls her face right before she bled. Her eyes said it all. He broke her heart. Worst of all, he broke her.

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The Volkov Mansion

Nikolai is standing by the window as he impatiently waits for news from the hospital. His brother went there despite the advice of Matushka to give Belle the time she needs. Nikolai and Alexei believe that the longer it takes for them to see her and talk to her, the more they will fall apart. They need to talk to her and explain everything. More importantly, they need to be with her as they go through the loss of their babies.

The Russian Mafia Boss saw the SUVs pull over their driveway and so he hurriedly went to the grand foyer to meet Alexei.

"What happened?" Asked Nikolai.

Alexei just looked at him, not saying a single word. Boris, Andrey and Dimitri have the same look of hopelessness on their faces. They left the brothers to talk.

"What happened? Did you see her?"

"She's gone." Alexei answered with a faint voice.

"What do you mean she's gone?" Nikolai asked as he grabs Alexei to meet his gaze.

"She's not in the hospital anymore. She was fetched by a helicopter right after we left."

"Do you know where she was sent to?"

"No. Hospital personnel and even the doctors were kept in the blind. Papa and Ma's phones are untraceable. Amy would not talk to me. Pa pulled some strings to keep this all under the radar. I contacted our connections to get a location but it was a dead end."

Nikolai cups Alexei's face with his palms. "I will find another way. We will get our wife back. We will not stop until we find her and get her home."

He already turned his back on him to go to the study when Alexei spoke again, "What if she doesn't want to be found?"

Nikolai was halted as his brother's question hits close to home. He brushed off the thought because he knows that he is not prepared to face that one scary supposition, "What matters is she's still our wife. Nothing and no one can ever take her away from us. I will make sure of that."

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The only sound that can be heard in the middle of the night is the taped knuckles hitting the punchbag inside the gym. No one seems to be in the mood to sleep especially the Boss and the Underboss of the Russian Mafia. Nikolai hits the bag relentlessly, sweat dripping down his bare face and half-naked body. Boris is holding the bag tightly as his Boss punches his heartache away. Too bad for him however, this is only the first night that Belle is gone. Their future is still uncertain and that's what makes Nikolai lose his mind.

He managed to push away his wife, a woman with the purest of heart and did nothing but love him and his brother without any condition whatsoever. She accepted him for who he really is. She was there at his worst. She knew his demons. She was his ride or die.

Nikolai was deep in his thoughts when he heard a commotion outside. When they came to check, they saw the two maids crying in front of Dimitri. Alexei is screaming from the master bedroom, obviously agitated about something.

"It's okay. Next time ask the butler before you go inside the Boss' bedroom. From now on, never touch Madame's things until you are told otherwise. Now go on." Said Dimitri to the maids.

"What's this about?" Asked Nikolai as he removes the tape from his hands. They can still hear Alexei scream from the second floor, obviously already inebriated.

"The maids washed the duvet, the sheets and Madame's clothes they took from your bedroom. And Alexei...well.."

Dimitri did not even have to explain further. Nikolai knew why his brother got mad, as ridiculous as the reason may be.

"I got this. You two may sleep." He said to Dimitri and Boris.

When he got inside their bedroom, he saw Alexei holding a glass of vodka in one hand while his other hand is caressing Belle's robe to his chest. He is already half asleep but is murmuring something, 'Princess, I miss you. I love you so much. I'm sorry. I love you. I need you.'

Nikolai took the glass from his hand slowly and covered his brother with the duvet. He noticed that the maids certainly took and changed every single sheet and clothing that could have at least have Belle's scent. He completely understands why his brother went crazy. The maids did their fucking jobs fantastically in wiping things clean. He started to get pissed as well when suddenly he remembered something.

He went to the counter where they hide the stashes of Belle's panties they used to collect. He took several pieces and put them right beside his brother. In his mind, this should be enough to put the fucker to a few hours of sleep.

Right now, Nikolai knows that his brother needs him by his side as much as he needs Alexei. He saw what his brother went through for so many years just to save Yelena from herself. Nikolai was the sole witness to the façade that his sister and Alexei were making in front of Vyacheslav, the Russian Mafia and the rest of the world. In the losing end was Alexei. He cared for her perhaps a little too much while she was in love with someone else.

When Alexei finally found someone whom he fell in love with, Nikolai promised himself that his brother was going to get the love that he so deserves. A true and genuine love from a woman who openly gave her heart without regard to what the world will say. A love that was, without reservation, given by Belle to him and his brother.

As to himself, Nikolai just realized how much he misses Belle terribly. No words can describe the pain in his heart right now, knowing that he might have completely lost her.

The dismal silence in the whole mansion is deafening. Looking at her portrait hanging on the wall, he started to think of what might have been their future. He was finally on his way to build his own family with a woman he's madly in love with. They could have had the babies months from now and Belle would have been a great mother to his first born --a mother that he never had when he was a little boy.

He recalls asking Vyacheslav about his mother at the dinner table one Christmas night. His little curious mind did not understand why Alexei and the other kids had mothers who hug, kiss and wipe their tears whenever they cry. He did not understand why he was allowed to play outside while his classmates were making Mother's day cards once every year. He did not understand why he found it hard to draw an image of his mother when Ms. Griffin asked them to show a drawing of his family to class.

Vyacheslav did not mince his words when he explained to Nikolai that his mother did not want him. She was going to get rid of him the moment she knew she was pregnant but Vyacheslav wants to take responsibility for his child. He paid her off to keep the baby until Nikolai was born. Vyacheslav flew to the United States, carrying the baby in his arms.

His father then went on to say that whatever happened in the past, he must take it as it is and grow up to be a man for himself. It was not long enough when Yelena, Irene, Viktor and Alexei played a role in his life. Until then, he was raised to be Vyacheslav's heir. He was taught a lot of things that made him who he is in the present---dealing with heartbreak however was not one of them.

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