Life After the Storm novel Chapter 42

It has been a couple of days since the attack. Ivan has left, and Landon hasn't spoken to anyone since the memorial services of all those that we lost. I've been trying to give Landon time. I'm wondering if he blames me for the lives that I couldn't save.

I want to talk to him, but I don't know how. He is so full of anger that I don't want him to take it out on me. I've been assisting all the wolves that have lost their loved ones. Doing little chores here and there. Helping the mothers take care of their children, trying to explain to them what has happened.

Many wolves lost their mates. There is so much heartbreak that I don't know how to cure it all. The pack has lost the light. Now we are all just full of darkness. They need their leader to come forward and guide them. But he won't even leave his house. I know that he blames himself for all of this. Or maybe he blames me because he left his pack to protect me.

Ivan said that he would be back, but he didn't say when. Sometimes I feel like I miss him even though I hate him too. Star has been so quiet and almost feels like she has disappeared, too. I think she is mad at me for trying to save others. When I should have taken care of myself and my baby.

As I rub my belly and feel her kicks, I'm grateful that she is OK. Even though I'm terrified of the world that she is coming into. I don't want it to be where she is going to be in danger all the time. I want to get to the bottom of all of this. I just don't know how. I don't want to bring it up, but I don't know what else I am supposed to do.

As I'm laying in bed and my thoughts are everywhere. I hear a knock at the door, I don't want to answer it, I don't want to move. I want to lay in my sadness and just forget all that has happened. But I pushed myself up out of my bed. As I pull my covers off my body, I get a chill from the cold air. Then I notice that the knock becomes frantic, and then I am nervous to answer.

As I opened the door, I saw Landon. I can tell that he has been crying, as his eyes are puffy and red. I want to comfort him, but I don't know how. As I look into his eyes, “Landon, is everything okay.” I say in a shaky voice.

He pushes himself through the doorway and connects to my lips. I kiss him back, enjoying me being close to him. As his arms wrap-around my body, he begins to sob. His head sinks into my neck as I wrap my arms around him. I say nothing, I just let him get it all out, hoping it will help him. I feel so bad for all that has happened. I wish I could take away all of this pain.

As he pulls his head back, he looks into my eyes. I see all of him, the pain that he is feeling and the love that he has inside him. I know that he feels like a failure, but it is not his fault. I take my finger and brush it through his beautiful Brown hair As I whisper to him, Landon, “none of this was your fault.”