Lost Me, Gained Regret (Jane and Bryant Ferguson) novel Chapter 160

"Could it be me instead?" I stood my ground, locking eyes with him, my words deliberate and straightforward.

To say I had no hopes would be a lie. I could deceive anyone but not my own heart. I hadn't moved on. Despite knowing there was no way forward for us, I still harbored a sliver of hope that, at some point over the years, he had felt something for me, even if it was just for a fleeting moment. It had been eight years. How many eight years did one have in a lifetime?

His eyes drew me in like whirlpools and his voice had this tempting pull when he spoke, "If I said it was you, would that stop us from getting a divorce? Can we not end it?"

I was stunned, struggling to maintain clarity as I looked at him and shook my head. "Bryant, if you had feelings for me, it would only mean my years of unrequited love weren’t in vain. That might give me a bit of solace. But that is not a reason for us to keep going."

Bryant asked, "All these years?"

"Yes, all these years." Suddenly, I felt ready to lay bare my feelings, no longer hiding them. I laughed and said, "Eight years, Bryant. I've been into you since college, for eight years."

After saying it all out loud, maybe I could finally let go of regrets. Telling Bryant openly that I had feelings for him was not shameful.

"How could I..." Bryant's eyes widened in surprise, a mix of joy and skepticism. "Didn't you have a thing for Mark back in college?"

Having said it all, I was ready to start anew, leaving the past behind. I wouldn’t owe Bryant anything anymore!

He suddenly pulled out a pack of cigarettes, lighting one with a grace that made it more distinguished. After a few puffs, his expression turned even murkier.

The smoke seemed to choke him, a rare moment of disarray as he looked at me, "If...if I hadn't been the one to take you to the hospital that day..." He coughed, his eyes reddening, his voice rough, "Would you still have fallen for me?"