Love Aint Always Pretty novel Chapter 35

Scintilla

- a tiny, brilliant flash or spark; a small thing; a barely-visible trace

Origin: Latin

35

"Can I come in?" Nick asked.

I widened the door for him. "Sure."

I think he's not drunk. He doesn't smell liqour at all. He walks inside my room and I headed to the bed while he stands right across me. He's looking at me while we were alone in this dim room.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

I gazed at my watch, as if I dont know the time. "It's already one in the morning."

"The frat house was too loud, I couldn't sleep."

My eyebrows creasing. "You mean to say you want to sleep here?"

"Can I?" he asked.

I stared at him. "Sure."

I slightly moved and crawled to my bed while he walks closer to me. He sits on top of the mattress and I settled myself on down. He kicks off his shoes and lays down right next to me while he covers the blanket over us. Both of us were still staring at the ceiling and neither of us wanted to talk even though it was evident that we wanted to say something. I propped my left knee and flexed it up while I feel his feet slightly brushing against the toes of my right foot. It was unusual for him to come here this late and unnoticed to ask me if he could sleep here cos the frat house was loud or maybe I'm putting a meaning on it again.

"How was your day today?" He speaks.

"Great. Me and Channing went bowling right after we had dinner. You should've joined us." I said.

"Wouldn't want to ruin your date."

I chuckled. "It wasn't a date. Channing's just a really good friend of mine."

He didn't answer.

"Did you tell him about us?" He asked.

"Nope. He doesn't really have to know our business." I said.

All of a sudden he placed his left leg over my right thigh that it made me look at him. I turn to my side to look at him as I place my left knee over his thigh but he was still staring at the ceiling while his hands were placed under his head. His eyes made me think that he was having deep thoughts on his mind right now and I want to figure him out again. I want to go into his troubled and hard to read mind. I want to figure him out. I want to understand him but it's just too hard. It's just so hard.

"How was your day?" I asked him while I was still looking at him.

"Nothing extraordinary." He says.

He didn't look at me but I was still looking at him. I didn't move and I was just staring at his pointy nose tip and his scruffy beard. I stared at his flexed elbow that showed his biceps while his eyes were still glued at the ceiling. I wonder what's up there that he's much more looking at it than me.

Finally.

Nick moved his head his side and looks at me. I smiled but he didn't. I pulled my hand out and run my forefinger in between his eyebrows. "They're knitted together."

He smirked. Finally, a little smile on his gloomy face.

"They are?" He relaxed his brows.

I smiled.

"You look lovely today by the way." He added while he pushes my hair back.

"Thanks Nick. You never fail to compliment me. Now I'm doubting if you really mean that."

"I do. I mean it." He says sternly.

He leans closer and kissed my forehead quickly.

"I have one rule out of three by the way. I've been thinking about it lately." I said.

"Okay. Let's hear your rule."

"Don't make me get my hopes up for a future especially if we know we can't own one." I said.

He looks into my eyes and it was hard to tell if he liked it or not. "That's my rule for you." I said firmly.

"Am I getting your hopes up?" He asked.

Shit.

"Cos if I am then I think as early as now we need to end this before I could hurt you." He added.

You're already hurting me Nick.

"Nick what if I fell in love with you. What will you do?" I asked.

"I'll be letting you go." He said so easily.

Ouch.

The words hurt me but the way he said it so casually got me thousand times.

"You don't need that broken kind of love Savannah." He added.

I bent my head down a little, just a little so he won't see that I was hurt by what he said to me. I wanted to cry. I wanted to tear up and just dump my face on my pillow. I bit my lip hard so I could stop myself from crying. Im not allowed to get hurt. I'm not allowed to show him it's hurting me or else he'll end this. I don't want him to let me go cos I'm already in love with him cos this thing that we're doing is the only thing that makes me happy even though it has nowhere to go. I want him to feel the same way that I do but it's killing me deep down inside cos he shows me he can't.

"So you still have two rules left." He says.

I pulled my head up and smiled at him ruefully. Why does every time I look into his eyes, he makes me think that he's also in love with me? When he said those words, his eyes looks at me and tells me differently from the words that he was trying to say.

"Yeah. I still need to think about it." I said.

"Okay. So how long will your ex boyfriend be staying around here?" He asked.

"Well he said he'll be leaving Monday morning. He'll pick me up here tomorrow. We'll be going hiking. It's what we usually do on Sundays before, there's this hidden waterfall on one of the forests around here." I say with a smile.