Love Aint Always Pretty novel Chapter 50

Panimalos

Translation: revenge

Origin: Cebuano

50

"Trace?" I called out to her.

She sits on her bed as she looks back at me. Tracy was busy putting on her ankle boots, getting ready for another night out.

"You haven't talked to me for three days now since that night. I'm really sorry." I say.

She exhales. "I'm not mad at you Savannah. I'm mad at Nick."

I walked to Tracy and sat down right next to her. "You still haven't talked to him?"

"I did. The other day. I'm hurting for you too. When you told me you loved my brother, I just wanted to hold you cos he will only hurt you Savannah. He could never be giving you back that kind of love you feel for him." Tracy tells me.

I sigh.

"But I know that no matter how I tell you to stop with whatever you have with him, you won't listen to me." She added.

I smiled at her ruefully.

"Do you really love him?" She asks.

"Yeah." I answered softly.

Tracy hugs me tight right away as if she knows my pain. As if she had felt this kind of pain before. She rubs my back slowly and I wrapped my arms around her. Tracy was like an older sister to me and she treats me well.

"I love him so much Tracy... that I would do anything for him. I'll sacrifice everything for him even though it already hurts. I'll try to deal with the pain. I'll try to be strong for myself." I cried on her shoulder.

"Oh Savannah. I just couldn't stand seeing you getting hurt over Nick. I told you he's not capable of loving someone new anymore. The best advice I could give you is to give up what you feel for Nick. I'm sorry for being so blunt but I'm your friend. I need to tell it straight to your face that what you have with him will lead to nowhere. Why'd you even allow yourself to get involve?" She asks.

"I thought I could handle it. But it's gotten out of control. And right now I.." I answered.

I sigh heavily.

"I just need him. He makes me feel special." I said weakly.

She pulled herself away from me and wiped my tears. "Come with me. I'm going out and you need to party. At least have fun just for one night."

"Where?"

"The frat house."

I shake my head. "After that night, I haven't talked to Nick. I don't think I'm ready to face him."

"Don't worry. Nick isn't around today. He said he left for the weekend."

My brows creasing. "Where he went to?"

"I don't know. He didn't say."

I exhale. Here I go again, looking for him when he's not around. Here I go again, wondering where he might could've been by now. And here I go again, thinking that he's with Catherine by now, spending his weekend with her.

"So he's not gonna be there?" I asked.

She nods.

"Why are you avoiding Nick?" She asked.

"I don't know. I just feel the need to avoid him cos I thought you were so mad at me." I say.

Tracy smiled. "I'm not. I really wanna help you with Nick cos--"

"Don't. I know he's not gonna fall for me. I couldn't compete with Catherine and for the past eight years she's all he thinks about. I couldn't change that." I say.

She pushes my hair behind my ear.

"When are you gonna stop?" She asks.

"Once I've had enough." I say.

Tracy stands and pulls me up. "Let's stop being so melodramatic and head to the party. Shall we?"

I smile.

Both of us headed out of the room and climbed inside Romeo's car. I was just quiet while the others were singing to this Drake song on the stereo. My mind is still thinking about where Nick could be. We haven't had a formal conversation after we fought that night and I haven't seen him around too. I always worry when I don't see him cos it just means he's with Catherine and I always get mad at myself cos no matter how hard I try to convince my mind and my heart not to get jealous I always end up getting hurt.

"Hey angel!" I hear Aries calling out.

I smiled at him. "Hey Aries."

"What's with that look huh?" He pulls my chin up.

"Nothing. I'm just tired. I need to party. I need to drink."

"You've been a massive drinker lately."

I smiled and snatched the Margarita from his hand and drank it all. I know it was a Margarita cos it was what I drank when Nick snatched it from my hand when a guy offered it to me. I squint my eyes and feel my throat burning. I groan.

"And you take margaritas now too. You know what, let's take it easy. The night just started." He says.

I coughed. "God I needed that."

"How about we dance?" He asked.

I nod.

Aries pulls me to the dance floor and we were dancing to this wicked beat being played by the DJ. The streaks of red and blue were hitting on our faces. I feel Aries' hand holding onto my waist while I was grinding on him. I don't care who was watching. I don't care who will catch us. I don't care if his millions of admirers will get mad at me. I need to dance and forget about Nick and I could used Aries.

All the people around me that is close to Nick tells me to give him up. I know for myself I should give him up. I just don't know when and how to give him up. I don't know how to let him go. It's not easy.

Maybe in time, I'll get use to this pain but for how long am I gonna be a fool for Nick?

Here I am, sweating and still dancing with Aries. I'm enjoying. I'm having fun. I'm forgetting a little bit. Though Nick sometimes crosses my mind. The margarita is getting into my system. I'm feeling a little bit free and wild. I sprawled my arms around Aries' shoulders, wrapping it around his neck while I tease him.

"You're so wild tonight." He says.

"This is a side of me nobody knows."

Aries kissed my cheek. "I love it angel."

I gazed at the couch where we'd usually sit and everyone was getting ready for the spin the bottle. "Let's join them?"

Aries gazed at them. "Alright."

Both of us headed to where everyone was. I say down right next to Tracy while Aries was sitting down beside me.

"We're going to play as well." Aries says.

"Right on time for truth or dare." Penny says to us with a grin.

"Are you playing?" I asked Tracy.

"No. Clyde won't let me. Nick told him to babysit me." Tracy pouts.

I grinned. "Okay. I'm joining."

"Everyone in here?" Romeo calls out everyone's attention who'd still want to join our game.

Tracy handed me a drink and I accepted it then took a quick drink from it.

"I'll play."

Holy shit no.

I pulled my head up when I heard that voice and saw Nick joining us on the couch. Tracy and I stared at each other eagerly in synch. He was sitting down right across me. His usual spot, right beside Penny.

"What's he doing here?" I whisper to Tracy who looked shocked as well.

"I don't know. I have no idea why he's here. He said he's not around."

"Hey Nick. I thought you weren't around today." Penny flirts.

Nick didn't answer her.

"Let's start the game shall we?" Romeo asked everyone.

"How about...." Penny trails.

My eyes moved to Penny.