My Love My Hatred (Jennie and Lance) novel Chapter 30

Chapter 30 Jade

I kept overthinking that day. Lawrence knocked on my office door when it was near 5pm. He asked if I was free for dinner.

I recalled the one time when I had a cold, Lawrence ran out in the rain to get me meds, I’m not stupid, I knew about his feelings for me.

Such kindness was very valuable to me. I really appreciate it.

But I will never deserve such kindness anymore. Ever since the day I decided to sell myself out in a deal, I deserve nothing.

I rejected Lawrence’s invitation, he drove away with disappointment.

I needed to clear my mind alone so I went to the mall. I came across a small private clinic beside the mall and suddenly remembered what Wendy said. She said Lance would most probably be back after a week right?

I took some pills yesterday and puked the whole night. It’s clear that pills weren’t my best solution, but I couldn’t just let myself get pregnant and go for abortion again, right?

I entered the clinic and saw the doctor. Private clinics just want money, they wouldn’t care about your body and would do what you want them to do as long as you pay. I wanted to insert a tiny little metal gadget into me, it was to prevent pregnancy. Lance would be back after a week, my body would have recovered well by that time, so if he wants me on bed my then, it shouldn’t be a problem.

The doctor did as I said.

He told me it wouldn’t hurt, but it did.

I recalled the time when I aborted the child. The pain …… I wouldn’t have to experience the same pain ever again.

By the time I left, it was already near dark. I called a cab and went back to my condo.

I cooked some instant noodle and filled my stomach up with junk foods.

When I was deep into sleep, I suddenly felt a warm feeling all over my body. My forehead was burning. I thought, maybe my body still wasn’t used to this IUD (intra-uterine device)

I didn’t have any fever meds with me so I drank a lot of water to fight off the burning sensation.

The next day was Saturday, so I didn’t need to go work. I stayed at home to rest.