My Most Precious Human novel Chapter 130

My head was spinning. It was getting harder and harder to breathe. I sat down on my bed with the phone stuck to my ear and sank into the restless silence on the other side of the phone.

"Lilith." Sariel exhaled my name, sending a tickling sensation across my body.

"Why… why do you have Martha's phone?" I asked, my voice trembling.

"She gave it to me… She said that you would answer knowing that it's from her," he explained.

At that moment, I was both, mad and grateful for what Martha did. I thought that I would be better off without Sariel, but only after hearing his voice did I realize how badly I missed him. Nonetheless, along with the feeling of longing, heartache struck me hard.

"Why are you calling me?" I squeezed out of my throat. "The bond between us is already broken…"

"Did you seriously believe that it was the blood bond that made me be with you?" he asked softly.

"I think that not even the blood bond prevented you from hurting me," I said, struggling to keep my voice from breaking.

"I know I hurt you… I'm sorry for what I did, but what you saw between me and Elora wasn't real, and you know that…"

"Do I?" I breathed out while swallowing tears. "You brought me to the point where I no longer knew what to believe."

"You should have believed in me… Lilith." His tone was warm and confident, but not convincing enough.

"You gave me no reason to believe you…" I drew my words slowly, "You left me out of your plans and expected me to obey whatever you did… Did you think that I wasn't worthy of your trust?"

"I was afraid, Lilith! I was afraid that someone would attack you if they saw us close! I was afraid of losing you-"

"But you lost me anyway, and you did it yourself," I muttered, my hand rubbing my aching chest.

"Please, don't say that…" His voice softened. "I am the leader of the vampire race. I have the greatest army at my command, but I'm forced to walk on eggshells around the woman I hate… And every time I am getting closer to finding out who supports her, a bloody attack comes. "

I heard him clench his teeth. I heard pain and frustration in his voice, which made me ache for him. I had never thought that there would come a time when I heard him baring himself in front of me and admitting that he had a weakness.

"I… wanted to help you…" I mumbled. "You rejected my help…"

"I didn't want you to get involved and endanger your life… Not when I didn't even know who I was dealing with," he said, with a coaxing tone.

"Are you kidding me?!" I snapped. "From the moment I entered the Palace, I was constantly in danger, and I was already involved in all of this from the second I stood by your side! And yet you left me, and I had to deal with everything alone!"

"I was a fool!" he called out angrily. "Is that what you wanted to hear? I should never have let you go…"

I covered my mouth with my hand, afraid that he would hear me cry. My heart hammered at an insane rate, but I knew I had to silence my emotions. There was no time for that. I put the phone away for a second and took a few deep breaths.

"I'm going to join the war, Sariel," I stated, hoping to sound composed.

"What?!" he snarled, "I did everything I could to keep you safe, but the next thing you do after leaving me is risk your life?! And for who?! For Draven?!"

"I'm not doing this for Draven!" I burst out, and then slowly pushed air into my lungs. "I'm doing this for myself… I want to face the fear that has been crushing me since I was a child… I need to go there."

Sariel went silent. I knew he understood my reasons. I also assumed that he already knew that I had become even stronger than I was before. I heard him taking a sharp gasp.

"Just… stay close to Patrick. Promise me that." His voice was rasped with restlessness.

"I promise I won't do anything stupid," I said softly, wiping away the last of my tears.

I heaved a sigh. Suddenly, I felt good about saying it all out loud. It felt as if someone had taken a weight off my shoulders. I even became a bit calmer, until…

"Kanan brought me all the decrypted notes… I saw your name there…" he said, clenching his teeth.

I sucked in a nervous breath. "Kanan and I were trying to find out who this JD is, but we still have nothing. I thought that it might be someone from my father's pack…"

Sariel sighed and suddenly his voice became cold. "You know that Draven fits perfectly-"

"It's not Draven." I cut him off a bit abruptly.

"How do you know that? Is it because you're his mate?!" he growled, irritated.

"No!" I snapped. "I checked his handwriting, ok?! It's not him!"