My Name is NOT Cupcake novel Chapter 30

My neck tingled where Elias marked me. I tried to imagine how my life would be if I left and went back home. I would never see Elias again. That thought made me uncomfortable but I knew that it was just the mate bond. In all honesty, I had no idea what I wanted to do anymore.

"I don't know," I answered honestly. I held Elias' hand in mine and played with his fingers. I liked the feeling of warmth and protection I felt. I shook my head.

"I don't think I could leave right now. Granted, we didn't start off the best and I miss my family like crazy, I don't think I could take it if I never saw you again, ever. I don't know if it's the mate bond or Stockholm syndrome, but I don't understand my feelings for you. And when you kissed me... I never felt a kiss like that before. It literally took my breath away and I didn't want it to end, but I didn't want to get closer to you either because you hurt me... and I don't want to get hurt again," I tried to explain. His hand pulled out of mine and went to my cheek.

"I'm not trying to hurt you," he assured me. I sighed and looked at the sheets before I prepared my next question.

"Why was it so easy for you to sleep with her when I went into heat?" I asked quietly. His movement stopped before he sighed and held my hand again. He knew exactly what I was talking about.

"Because I'd been with her before. Kendra was going to be Luna before I met you. As far as mates go, I thought I missed my opportunity to be with you. I thought you were dead. I'm 27 years old and I didn't find you until 6 months ago. That's not normal for Lycan. When you went into heat, I couldn't control myself. I wanted you so bad... but I knew I couldn't have you because you would hate me. Kendra offered... a solution, and I was too blinded by you heat to argue," he explained. I'm not going to lie... that hurt.

"How am I supposed to know that you won't do it again? I'm just going to have to hope?" I asked. I knew my face was probably turning red. He pulled my chin up and made me look at him.