I was happy when I know someone cared for me, it was also my weakness.
My tears kept rolling down and I typed: Don‘t worry, I am fine, I won‘t go back to Germany anymore. I am fine here and I love my child very much, don‘t worry about me and start your own life now. I owe you an answer last time, now I want to tell you my answer. I am sorry Javier; I want to give my child a complete family. We aren‘t meant to be, Javier. I believe that you will find a better woman than me. I hope you are safe and I wish you a happy life.
My phone rang after my message was sent; it was Javier.
I didn‘t pick up the call because I was afraid that I couldn‘t stopped
myself from crying like a baby, it would only worry him more. I already owed him a lot in the past one year, he had given me so much love and caring, they were the best memories in my heart, no one could compete.
I sent him another message: Stop calling me, the father of my child is now beside me, I don‘t want him to think too much. I really want a better life with him.
Javier quickly sent me another voice mail and said, “I don‘t believe that. You said that you will come back to Germany, you said you will give me your answer after you come back. You told me that you hate him and you never want to be together with him, why would you be together with him now? I don‘t understand why you would be with a man you hated so much? I don‘t understand why you would change your
mind in such a short time? Is he manipulating you? He threatened you, didn‘t he? I don‘t care, I will bring you back no matter what.”
He sounded very desperate.
Just when I finished listening to his voice mail, another one came in and he said, “Can you send me a voicemail, I need to hear your voice so that I know you are fine.”
Maybe he thought that the one who replied to his message wasn‘t me so he needed confirmation by hearing
my voice.
Ipatted my chest a few times and inhaled sharply to make sure my voice didn‘t sound like I had been crying.
“Javier, I am Jennie, I am fine here, and I am happy. Don‘t worry.” I said and sent the voice mail to him.
Javier replied me quickly and said,
“If you guys are really happy, why can‘t come and visit? Tell me the truth Nini, is he threatening you?”
I didn‘t want to tell him much because I was scared that I wouldn‘t be able to control myself, so, I said, “Javier, it‘s very late here now, I need to go to bed now. Don‘t worry about me and we can‘t contact each other too often also. Bye.”
I quickly logged out because I didn‘t want to hear any of his messages anymore, I was going to break down any second. The future would be more difficult and I didn‘t even know if I could do it, but I didn‘t want to drag Javier down with me. He should have a happy life without me, safe and happy.
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