My Secret, My Bully, My Mates (skylar) by Miss l Free novel Chapter 148

Chapter 0148
A single tear escaped. Deep down I know they all care and this is punishing everyone, but I can 't back down, I need to get out of here and the sooner the better. I la-low I am not weak or useless, but that little voice in the back of my head that sounds suspiciously like Kaley likes to tell me otherwise. I just feel the absolute need to prove myself and my worth. No amount of words from them will make me believe I am good enough until I do.
I finally conceded and went to the door and grabbed the food he brought up after I was completely sure he and everyone else was out of my house. I eat slowly, not hungry, but I am tired of hearing how small I am from too much training and not eating enough. I leave the empty dishes outside my door, to show him I took the offering and appreciate the gesture.
After the most fitful sleep, I got up groggily and dressed half asleep. I was so tired I forgot to use the window and headed to my patrol spot out the front door. It shocked me for a minute when I bumped into a solid mass as I was walking down the sidewalk lost in my thoughts.

"Whoa there Smalls, I mean Skylar. Cam cleared his throat and let go of me as quickly as he grabbed me. He tried for a smile, but it didn't reach his eyes. "You headed for patrol." I just nodded my head and looked away. I couldn't take the lookin his sad green eyes. Do you want me to walk..." He gestured back over his shoulder. "Uh, nevermind. Okay, I'll see you at school later. Training isn't going to be the same without you, you know.
"I agree." I gave him a small smile, but couldn't look him in the eye. "I'll see you later." I move around him and do my best to hold it together, I miss them. I knew I would, but this sucks so much more than I thought. I hurry faster to meet up with Gamma Brett, I really need a distraction now.
Breaking out into a run I took in the different shades of greens and browns of the forest and the earthy smell that always calms my nerves. I arrived too quickly at the patrol cabin, where everyone checks in before their patrol starts, a full ten minutes before Gamma Brett did, which gave me time to school my emotions.
"I should have known you'd get here before us." He smiles at me and I return it before it hits me.
'[Who ' s us? "1100k at him confused.
"We came across an issue yesterday and had to reorganize some of the groups. We figured with your background and level of training it wouldn't be a problem to double up." He shifts and Marnie is behind him looking worse for wear. Her hair is in a tangled mess on top of her head, her eye make-up is smeared and her well chosen outfit looks like she put it on in a hurry and maybe in the dark The bright colors clash with the muted tones Of the forest and aren't something you want to wear out in the woods like this, unless you want to be spotted...by the enemy.
What the f*ck? I say to my wolf
You're asking me? I was going to say the same thing. Watch your back, we don't know why she was put with you. It could be an honest pairing and Gamma Brett thinks you won't need as much or any help so he can focus on her. Or it's a set up to spy on you for Kaley. She's not supposed to be here, she doesn't have her wolf yet.
I thought that's what the Alpha said the other day. She must be here to spy, or cause problems. I close my eyes and take a deep breath.
"So what do you want us to do first?" I ask Gamma Brett, completely ignoring Marnie’s presence.
‘We are going to run the perimeter, in human form since Marnie can’t shift yet, and that will give mea chance to show you ladies the things we are looking for while we are on patrol. The pattern we run is similar to what you were talking about with the Alpha King the other night, Skylar...”