Two weeks have gone by since my heat started. Did I get my relief? Most definitely.
Xander took special care of me. He listened to my body and knew just what it needed as if he'd been through this before. He was gentle when I needed him to be and rough when I asked for it. He imprinted on me and that's how he knew what I needed.
Once my heat ended, I stayed a few days with him because of the imprint. His wolf was very possessive and would not let me leave. Did we continue to make love? Have sex? Fuck?
No hour went wasted.
Am I dying of guilt? Totally.
I'm guilty for neglecting my son for so long over an imprint. I was fully able to leave Max when I had his mark.
I'm guilty for enjoying it. I enjoyed it even after my heat. Xander was different. He definitely was not Max.
His sex was totally different. For an 18 year old, he sure knew his way around a females body. Max was great but he was supposed to be as he was my first but now after tasting Xander, I'm not so sure if he was my best.
I've been locked in my apartment for days now. Xander keeps coming to check on me but I asked him to give me space. This was all too quick for me. I have a newborn I need to raise. I'm not trying to draw attention to myself so Max won't find me. Being around Xander frees me in a way where I could risk it all and I have to think about my son more than anything.
Maybe after some time, I'll try it out with him. Whatever it is that we are doing.
Right now, the plan was to work on me. Being a mother first. That is my priority. My situation isn't ideal but I will make the most of it because my son deserves better from his parents. I will give him the world, whatever the cost. He will have a good upbringing and I will never neglect him again, especially for a man.
The claw marks had faded, thank the goddess but I could still feel a slight longing for Xander. It was faint but still there.
Am I pregnant? Thank the goddess not! I would've died. It didn't rain but I also paid the kind doctor a visit so I can rule out a CJ surprise. I could not handle another kid.
Tomorrow I was going to face Xander. Tell him I am not with child, although I think the doctor probably beat me to it. I will tell him where I stand with him and hope he understands.
If anyone was looking at my love life from the outside, they'd legit call me a social climber. Alpha after alpha. Athena definitely loved power.
'Damn right I do.. ' Athena responds back to me.
She also felt alive again. Felt like herself.
I just wonder if the imprint was able to break the soul tie between me and Max. If it did then Max will know that I found someone to give me relief during my heat. He will think I am marked.
I had to find a seer to find out what an imprint can do. How extensive the damage is.
One thing I know though is Xander's scent still lingers around me and I think it has more to do with the imprint than his seed trying to impregnate me. I mean I've showered enough times and the first day I was able to get away from him, I scrubbed myself for hours out of guilt.
I probably showered 5 times in one day to rid myself of his scent. I failed miserably and my skin felt sensitive for a minute.
I can really depress myself. I cleaned my apartment as if Dorothy doesn't do enough. She'd come in the morning to find the house smelling like chemicals but she didn't say anything to me. I think she understood.
I'd go to school, pay attention in class and go straight home right after. I would avoid Xander and more so now because all the girls wanted to befriend me since I was the new alpha's girl.
He hasn't taken a new girl since the imprint. I wonder if he could feel the longing like I could. If that was the case then his wolf really pulled a number on us. I thought an imprint goes away but now here I was with lingering side effects.
_________________________________________
Xander's POV
I was going crazy. Sabrina was avoiding me completely and I thought it would be okay to give her some space.
Comments
The readers' comments on the novel: Not Your Mate Anymore