Rejected Mate and Following Fate - Awakening Book novel Chapter 82

"Bullshit. You ARE part of this story. You're here, aren't you? You're helping... you're back with the pack. Maybe Colton isn't your happy ever after, maybe this specific story isn't about you, but the fates don't make mistakes, and you wouldn't be here, you wouldn't be with me now, if there wasn't a reason. You have a worth and I bet my last breath your story is far from over." My venomous conviction rings true, my heart certain on this fact and I refuse to dismiss her as some unimportant object that was dropped along the way. She was a huge thorn in my side, a recurrent shadow to my happiness, and there's no way the fates would have made me become so tied to her like this for absolutely nothing. She has to have some kind of importance.

"I think the reason is you are too soft and Meadow, well, she wanted a verbal punch bag for a long ass journey while neither of you wanted Sierra to deal with the mess I was yesterday. I'm not stupid. I'm also not about to crumble and throw myself to the vampires. I'm not my mom. I don't need babysitting and I'll only take so much of Meadow's attitude before I rupture her eardrums." It's said with a hint of sass and a smile curls up unexpectedly at the corner of her mouth that I can't miss. A hint of softening as she dampens down her emotions once more and returns to that cold aloofness I am getting used to.

I have to admire the girl, she has a fire in her, even if it's shrouded in an unlikeable attitude. I can see what she says is true and knowing now she endured months of torture and pain at Juan's hands, I know she's not about to curl up and cry. She has fight in her and maybe Meadow knew it and that's why she wanted her to come. She doesn't like her, she never did, but Meadow knows skill and has a sixth sense about people's ability. She relies on it with our pack and if she thought Carmen was an asset on this trip then I know she chose her with putting her feelings aside. There is more to this girl than I even credited her for, and I only hope I get to see her shine sooner rather than later. Even if I can't believe I am actually thinking this way about my once sworn enemy.

"Just try and not fight with her.... my eardrums are not to blame for you two and your spats." I point out with a raised brow and Carmen sighs in some kind of mutual defeat.

"I hate how much he loves you... how you are together and I'm not sorry about that. It hurts to see it... but I won't do anything to jeopardize my place in the homestead. It's not that easy to get over someone like him, but I know it's utterly pointless to even look at him twice. I can see where his heart and his focus lies. I'm not a threat, not that I ever could be.... I'm just saying." She shrugs, turning her full attention back to driving and the simmering atmosphere seems to dull down and dissipate so quickly that it's unnerving.

She's honest anyway, even if the deliverance is harsh and I don't like some of the content, but I respect the fact she's being truthful about what she feels, and I stretch out and sigh heavily.

"I'm sorry that you got hurt. That he had someone before me that had to let him go. I can't imagine what that must have felt like. It wasn't what I wanted; I didn't even know him." Although from the moment we imprinted I knew I could never let him go and want him or not, I was his forever. It doesn't change that what we did was cruel, even if neither of us controlled it. I see that now.

"Yeah well, like I said... the world keeps turning. I'm sure it's not the last time I'm going to experience hell for merely existing. I'm starting to accept its maybe what's meant for me."

I hate this pessimistic attitude she has, but I get it. It's the hard knock lack of self-worth because life has booted you in the face repeatedly, and you learned to never hope for anything better. Resigned to disappointment, pain, suffering, and accepting it, rather than crying at every crumbling block. I guess I used to have it too, when life kept throwing me down and hurting me in all kinds of unfair ways. It kills your worth, your self-esteem. It clouds the skies and makes you see only darkness and sunless days. Carmen has been through enough and she has yet to find any kind of reason to think beyond how worthless she is in the grand scheme of things. Such a contrast to who I thought she was back in the pack days of the mountain.

Maybe after this is over, when we find the witch, when we break the spell, and life can somehow get back to a semi level of calm, she might start to see it's not always bad. She'll be with us in the homestead and our gentler, calmer way of life. Where the pack look out for each other and genuinely care about maintaining the safety and peace to thrive. We can't stop the war from happening but with us, at the stead, a new life, safety, and free from people like Juan, maybe she will start to heal. With time to grieve, time to process everything that has happened in the past months, with support from me, Colton, and the subs. This time we owe it to her to be better as her pack. They all do.

Maybe she might find love the normal way with one of the wolves she never paid much attention to before. It happens. There are enough of them that she maybe never really gave all of them a second look or a chance while they stood in Colton's shadow. I can hope anyway. It will ease my guilt if I know she found someone to replace what she lost, what I took, and gives her some small sense of happy.

"You two, seriously.... gawd. Someone's trying to sleep over here." Meadow sits up, rubbing her eyes and I frown at her, not impressed with her complete lack of empathy when it comes to Carmen, but she smiles, catching me off guard and shoves Carmen in the shoulder a little harshly. "Could you stop being such a drag, bringing the mood down and be a little bit thankful that I haven't kicked your ass into touch yet." She jests , yawns and tries to stifle it with a clenched fist before settling herself lazily upright.

"You could try!" Carmen glares at Meadow, that snidey bitchy tone back in place and that aura of frost, but Meds just smirks at her with equal sass.

"Oh, baby girl, I wouldn't need to try...I already know you would be a two second flick of the wrist. Don't put too much value on your skills when you're up against me, Puta."

"Meadow, really?" I blanche, startled at her meanness and even calling her that after all this time, wishing these two would stop and just not wrapping my head around Meds lack of compassion when it comes to Carmen.

"Relax, Luna. I would be worried if she was being nice to me.... I would think she's sick or dying. I can take Meadow being a bitch, it's what I'm used to." Carmen seems like she's trying to set my mind at ease, but she can't be because it's Carmen and she's spiky at the best of times. She really can't be telling me in a roundabout way that this is okay and expected.

"Well, skanky puta, as long as we all know where we stand, heh?" Meadow grins again, catlike and smug, getting the same level of hostility as before when these two clashed as tempers heat subtly. It seems there's an undercurrent of brewing fire as Carmen sighs and eyerolls dramatically, seemingly more irritated than annoyed.

"And here I thought that specific nickname was left at the mountain... Guess you really did miss me, Sweetie pie." Carmen flexes her shoulders and glances at Meadow who only winks in a mock kind of sarcastic way, the flirt in her showing face because she uses it when the fight starts to flex.