Shouldn't Have Kissed You novel Chapter 28

"I never said I wanted a divorce," Maya said looking at him.

Chris locked his gaze with hers. He got scared when she began to talk and he thought that's what she needed. He didn't want to divorce her but he was ready if she said she wanted out of the marriage.

After all, it was his fault that the marriage never worked between the two of them. His and no one else. So the blame was all in him. He never tried even from the word go. All he saw was revenge. And look where it brought him. He ended up being like her father. The monster he was.

And now that he had apologize to her and promised that he would give her a divorce if she asked for it, he was ready. Ready to make up for his wrong decision. Ready to do right to her and if divorce was the right thing, he would grant Maya that. He would sign those papers even though he knew it would hurt him.

Why? He himself had no idea.

"If only you would let me finish talking," Maya said getting up from her couch, "I don't want to divorce you, Chris. I mean, you did me wrong. You scared the shit out of me every time you hurt me. I didn't want to go through what I went through with my dad and on my wedding day, I was happy.

"Happy that I was leaving my dad. Happy that he won't be able to hurt me because I'm going to be someone's wife. But when I saw you standing at the alter with revenge written all over your eyes, I said I was just reading too much in the line. I was just too happy to see what was coming my way. I mean, how can my husband hurt me.

"But then again, my own biological father hates me the most in the world. Then, what about the man that I just met a month ago and the following one we're getting married. I was too naive to see that. Too naive to believe that there were still beast like my dad out there. I thought it wouldn't get any worse than it was. So, I said I do without thinking. And from that time, you began your revenge."

Chris watched her wipe her tears away. She wasn't looking at him when she spoke but he felt her pain. All the men in her life has disappointed her. He was a beast just as she had called him. A beast.

"I wasn't happy because I married a wealth man and famous man like you thought. I mean, I've my own money. My life wasn't as everyone out there things. Yes, I was born with a silver spoon but I had to struggle. To educate myself. In Primary school, I used to fill those government papers so that I can have my fee paid. I was in boarding school since my dad was sick of seeing my ugly face as you once upon a time called it. I get it, I'm not beautiful but that doesn't mean I should be bullied about my looks. After all, we don't tell God how to create us. To me the Bible says I'm fearful and wonderful made.

"So after passing my primary exams, I had to join highschool and my dad wanted to sent me to a boarding school but my brother didn't allow it. He fought for me and because my dad loved him and listened to him, he allowed me to the same highschool my brother was. Of course, I had to pay my own school fees because according to my dad this time, he had no money to waste on bastard kid like me. But this time, I didn't use government funds at all. My brother helped me pay for my fee. I got a job at a clinic near my home where I was helping by cleaning and arranging things in order.

"Then my brother finished highschool and refused to be a doctor like my dad. He wanted to join army and my dad was very disappointed. So, he did what he thought was the best thing to do. He left home never to return till this day. I've not even heard a word from him. But he made sure that I was covered in my studies. He paid my fee and even left all his life time savings for me to use as my college fee. That's how I survived. That's how no one knows how my life wasn't as they think it was.

"And when I met you, I thought that we could be friends. We didn't have to leave as man and wife. I was ready to allow you to still continue dating your girlfriend because someone like you must have had one. But you took me as your enemy. You made me sleep on a cold floor for months. You made me hate myself all over again. You made sure I wasn't happy in my life. That's what you did to me. You even went to an extent of chasing away the only friend who hasn't left me behind as the others do. And worse, you called the man that I was happy not seeing for months to come and remind me how unwanted I am in this world. To be honest, I hated you, Chris Rollins.

"Yes, I hated you. I wanted to do something to that will make you remember me till death. I wanted you to feel my wrath. To have a taste of your own medicine. That's what I wanted Chris. For you to pay. To pay for every pain I ever experienced in your hands. That's what I want to do. But thanks to my friend, she helped me understand that I was better than this. I was better than you, Kimberly and most of all my father.

"I'm better than you and I'm glad I realized that early. I don't want to be bitter. I don't want to poison my soul. I just pray to God to give me a pure heart. A heart that sees good in people. The one that gives people a second change even without them asking for it. That's what I want in my life.

"To see good in them and not the evil in them. To see the possibility to change for good and not for bad. I want a forgiving heart and not a revengeful one. I want a heart that holds no grudges with people. A heart that is ready to love all the time and not ready to hurt. That's all I prayed to Almighty.

"Although the Bible doesn't allow divorce, I'll give you one Chris. For your happiness and mine. We got married in different circumstances. I needed to escape my dad and you needed to save your life from his threats. It wasn't out of love. Yes, I love you, but as a fellow human being. As for you, you love someone else and I'm not against. So I'll divorce you."

Chris watched her turn around to look at him. He didn't want that. He didn't want a divorce from her. But he had hurt her. He was just like her father. There was no difference between him and the monster of her father. Maybe it was time she had a happy life.

A life where her psycho of a father wasn't around and him. She needed to know what's like to be happy. To have a freedom of her own. To learn how to love herself before she committed to any other person in life.

It was for her own good and also his. He also needed to know what he wanted in life. He had feelings for two women and he had to know which one were true ones. It's was about time he also worked on his true feelings. Chris got up and walked where Maya stood. She didn't break eye contact and for that, he was grateful.

He wanted to stare at those green eyes. He wanted to remind himself how much of a damage he had made to them. How many times he had made them cry. He was a monster and monsters like him, they didn't deserve angels like her. Chris placed his hands on both her shoulders.

"I do understand, Maya," he was fighting his own tears, "I'm not what you expected me to be and if it's a divorce that you want, I'll grant it to you. For your happiness."

Chris wiped away her tears, "it's not mine alone, Chris," she said looking away from him. "But also yours. It's time you shout to the whole world that you love Kimberly."

Chris took a step back from her and looked away. He didn't want her to see the hurt in his facial expression. It did hurt that they're getting a divorce and he didn't know why. This was the woman that he was supposed to hate all his life. But now, now it hurt him that they're separating.

"I guess you're right. It's about time everyone knew the truth."

He turned back to find her smiling.

"You know," she began, "I never thought that one day I'll get married to someone that I didn't love but here I am. Married to you. Never also in my wildest dreams did I think that I'll ever get a divorce but here again I am. I guess bad luck is always following me wherever I go. I think I'm cursed as my dad loved to remind me every time he saw my face."

"I don't think there is something wrong with having bad things happen in your life. I mean, if you have a perfect life all through then, that's in normal."

Maya laughed at his statement.

"You know Maya," Chris took a step towards her, "you need a man who ruins your lips and not your mascara. I mean, you don't need someone like me who makes you cry all the time. You need someone who will kiss those full lips of yours and when you cry, it's not to ruin your mascara but because of happiness. And I'm sure he is out there waiting for you."

Maya smiled at him.