Aaron--
Todays Allena's first trimester complete, now she three complete months pregnant and enter in her fourth month, means second trimester. I don't know but in these days of months, I stayed with her in gray mansion in same room and slept on same bed, like couples do, I take her out for her late night carvings, I handled her every mood swings, I forgot everything in these days, or I say I wanted to forget and want to start a new life with Alle.
But I afraid, I afraid what if she is in love with someone else and wants to start a new life, or else why she want this huge amount. And if she's behind the money then for sure she never let me go, I'm her personal debit and credit card. But no!! She wants some amount and want to leave me and our kids behind. Means what? She's in love with someone else. Right???
You know it's so frustrating when you want to confront someone, but you have no reason to do it, when you wanted to live your whole life with someone but they didn't even interested in doing so. Right now I'm in the same situation, sometimes I saw love in Allena's eyes, and wish that it's for me, whenever I think about she being with someone else after six months it's make me jealous, make me broken, angry. I'm frustrated with my own feelings and thinking.
I don't know this feeling, this feeling of jealousy, anger, possessiveness, protecting. This is not love because I never feel this for Selena, with selena everything is different but with Allena I feel all this and I know it's not love. Then what is this??
Right now I was thinking all this while watching Allena sleeping peacefully like a baby, so innocent so pure. Her long black thick eyelashes shadowing her cheeks, her rosy soft cheeks, plump red lips......pouted like she saw some dream and try to give her puppy face. I brush my fingers on her left cheek softly not wanting her to wakeup.
"What you did Allena, and why? If you love someone else than you told me, I know that you didn't sold your self back for money but your step father and mother did, for saving the life of your step-cousin, but now what? What this important comes that you even ready to leave your babies alle? The babies you kept in you womb, the babies you feel two seventy-four days inside you. How can you leave them alle?" I asked in a soft tone knowing that she's not listening still I asked.
I softly kissed her forehead and give a quick peek on her lips before it feels. And lay down on my side. Still watching her, and soon I fell asleep.
Next morning I wokeup with sound of puking, and sat with jerk then run towards the bathroom. Allena were throwing her guts out so move behind her held her hairs in one hand and rubbed her back with other.
"Aaron!" She said after she done.
"Yes, don't worry let's wash your face, and you and then you sleep ok?" I said and she gets angry.
"You fucking AARON GRAY, because of you I'm suffering from all this, you moron, ACTUALLY MORON suits you better then Aaron, I talked with mom and dad for renaming your name. You fucking idiot..... Mommmmmmmmmmm!" She said and screamed in the last, which cause mom's to come.
"What happened baby, Allena you ok darling? why are you screaming oh god you ok? Does babies ok? Is there pain anywhere? Oh for god sake!! say something baby." Mom said and dad also stand behind her with worried face.
"What happened Aaron, first take her to the bed, how insensitive husband and going to be father you're?" Said scold me.
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