The Alpha Chose Me (Leah and Jake) novel Chapter 68

Chapter 68

"You acknowledged the bond, you accepted his wolf and until he marks you it's not going to go away, if anything it'll only intensify. Everything will heighten, the way you feel right now is just a little of what's to come".
"I-I can't do it". I cried breakfast forgotten about. "Why did he do this to me?". I asked.
"It's the world we live in Leah. This is how it works".
"Well it's a stupid world". Squeezing my legs together I sighed at the little bit of release. I needed something, anything.
"You're strong you'll get through this. I know you will". She whispered.
"I-I need-...".
"You need him". Cutting me off she placed her hand on top of mine but I pulled it back. I didn't like that, why did it feel like it burned.
She made a face.
"What, what is it?". I panicked.
"The bond". She sighed. "Until he marks you the discomfort you'll feel to the slightest touch by anyone but him will feel like that".
"Please tell me you're lying". I groaned placing my head in my hands. "How many days will I feel like this?". I couldn't handle it already, this bond, what it was doing to me.
"It doesn't have a time spam Leah. It's nature let it run it's course".
"Is it effecting me like this because I'm not like him?". The coolness of the counter against my face was nice, soothing even.
"No it happens to us all. Regardless if you're a werewolf or not. The bond is a beautiful thing". Lifting my head up I glared. It wasn't beautiful, it was anything but beautiful. My emotions were running high and I didn't know if I wanted to burst out crying or punch something.
Sighing I pushed my chair back and got to my feet. I needed to cool off. I had to find a way to try and settle the burning inside. Unlocking my back door I pulled it open.
"Leah it's pouring rain".
The coolness of the air was welcoming, satisfying. Closing my eyes I breathed deeply. It wasn't shifting the pain but it was easing it, it was calming. I wonder if the rain against my skin would feel better. Glancing at Alanna I shrugged my shoulders before I ripped the T-shirt from my body.
"Leah don't that's-..."
Pulling off my jeans I stepped outside. I didn't care that I was only in my underwear. I laughed when the water touched my skin.
This helped.
"You'll catch a cold". She hissed.
I didn't care. The burning dimmed, the tingling easing. Walking further into my back yard I felt the grass beneath my feet.
"Come back inside". She yelled.
The wind whipped around my body, the rain soaking my skin. This was crazy, I was crazy but I didn't care. If this was the only way to make me feel better then so be it.
Latching onto my arm I hissed as she pulled me back up the yard and through the back door. She was strong.
"Let me go". I cried. She couldn't touch me, no one could touch me. Handing me a towel I glared at her as I took it.
"That was stupid". She hissed. "It's torrential rain outside and you thought standing in it would be fun".
"It helped". I snapped wrapping the towel around my body.
"No it was stupid. Could have just took a bath". She shrugged. "Now eat something".
We sat in silence as I picked at my breakfast. I wanted to go back outside. I was on edge, my body felt like it was shaking from the inside.
"You need to dry off. Your hair is soaking". She sighed.
Shrugging my shoulders I lifted my plate emptying what I had left into the trash.
"It will get easier I promise".
"When?".
"When he decides to mark you. Once you wear his mark all of the discomfort and pain will go".
"When he decides?". I laughed. "So I could feel this way for weeks, months?".
"Potentially yes". She whispered.
Why was it his decision? Didn't I have a say? He knew what I was going through and if he was going through the same then what was he waiting for?
"He's not as bad as me is he?". I asked. I already knew he wasn't. No one would suffer this is they knew how to stop it.
"No he's not but it is effecting him".
I laughed sarcastically. "So he's willingly making me suffer, because that's what this is. It's torture, I want-..." I stopped talking. What was the point, Alanna couldn't do anything, she couldn't take the pain away.
"You got this". She whispered. "He'll break before you do, trust me".
"What do you mean?".
"He doesn't want to force anything on you. You think he likes seeing you like this. It's killing him Leah but he has to wait it out. He has to make sure you want this, want him".
That did make sense when I thought about it.
"You're strong Leah and I know you can wait it out. Imagine being Jake right now, imagine having your wolf clawing you on the inside desperate to come out".
"Is he in pain?". I whispered.
"Don't be surprised if he ends up on your doorstep tonight".
"He can't".
"The force of the pull is strong, the bond is strong, growing stronger and if he loses control to his wolf".
"You've no idea how much I want him, how much I want to go to him". I cried.
"It's natural Leah, trust the process".
How could I trust the process when I didn't know what it was.
"I bet I look ridiculous right now". I laughed. "Does it get better?".
"Get dried and dressed I'm going to take you to my moms and don't panic Jake won't be there. It's best you talk to her".
"What, no. I can't talk to your mom about this". I felt the heat rise to my cheeks.
"You can". She grinned. "She gets it".
"She gets that I want her son to destroy my insides?".
"Maybe don't say it like that". She smirked. "But yeah she's the best person to talk to. She's been through it remember".
I couldn't, I was too embarrassed. I needed to suck it up and deal with it. He was the only one that could help me. It didn't matter what anyone else said it wasn't going to make me feel better.
"I need a distraction". I needed something to occupy my mind if I was going to get through today.
"Come for a sleepover. We'll watch movies, eat popcorn and get drunk". She grinned. "Surely that'll take your mind off it".
"I don't want-..."
"He'll be patrolling most of the night. It takes his mind off it and it keeps his wolf at bay. He won't be there I promise".
"Okay".
"Pack a bag and we'll leave soon. This storm isn't passing anything soon".