The Alpha Who Saved Me novel Chapter 79

CHAPTER 79

I keep putting off going to see Jasper, and both Gavin and Declan keep telling me that it's okay if I want to wait until after I have the baby, so I don't put any more stress on myself. That's not why I keep putting it off, though. I'm scared to see his face, and I don't want to admit that to anybody. Every time I get it in my head that today is the day, a spine-chilling feeling creeps in and I can't shake it. It's silly, I know he can't get to me, but I think it's more of the memories flooding back.

I was strong while taking all the abuse, I didn't want him to see that he was breaking me. I would go lay down by Tala, mentally, every time he used my body. It was the only way I could get passed it and show him that everything he was doing to me wasn't affecting me like he thought it would. Since leaving that place, I have been able to put it all behind me in order to get through the day. Aside for the intimacy, it's been working just fine.

If I go and see him, I'm worried that the wall I've built around that specific part of my life will all come tumbling down. My wolf thinks I should let it come down because only then can I start to rebuild after I take care of the cause of it all. I just don't want to seem weak to anybody.

'I'll be with you, Quinn. I will always be right here to fight every obstacle that comes our way. We are a team, you and I, and we will always persevere through it all.' My wolf is wise, but she was asleep through almost all of it. Tala was there the last couple of times that he used me, so she knows how I handled it at the time.

She would cuddle me when I laid by her those few times, and I wish she could have done it through it all.

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'I'm scared, Tala.'

'I know...'

'What if all the memories come flooding back?'

'Then I will be with you and will relive all of it alongside you. We are becoming stronger day by day, and so is our pup.

'The guys think I should wait. What do you think I should do?'

'I think the sooner, the better. You don't need to shift in order to get your revenge. Besides, revenge will be sweeter if you do it all on your own. I will be there, of course, and will lend a paw or two if need be. Your hands can still shift to my claws without injuring our pup. A nice paw through the chest cavity may be in order by the end, or you can just let the fucker bleed out.'

'Wow, Tala, I never knew you could be so sinister.' I gasp playfully.

'I can be whatever I need to be in order to protect those that I love. I will gnaw on his intestines, let his wolf heal him just enough for me to be able to do it all over again. I will commit sodomy on the bastard if the thought of being anywhere near his ass didn't make me want to vomit all over the place.'

'What the fuck, Tala?'

'What? How else do you torture a fucker like him?'

'I was thinking more along the line of making him drink wolfbane, and then let him bleed out slowly.'

"Eh, that works too, I guess.'

'Don't act so disappointed. I'm sorry if I wasn't brought up learning how to torture and sodomize others.' I scoff.

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'Oh, and I was? I was just thinking an eye for an eye.' My wolf

states.

Sighing, I smile, 'I understand, Tala, and maybe my thought

process will change once I see him again, but for now, I just want to be better than him.'

'Ugh, have I ever told you that I hate it when you're right?' She swishes her tail and turns her head to snub me.