The Alpha novel Chapter 11

---Derek’s POV---

Damnit!

That wasn’t supposed to happen.

I wasn’t supposed to kiss her!

But her lips had to be so inviting. She just had to be such a pretty Flower.

Fuck.

I let out an irritated sigh as I sat in the seat she just occupied. Fuking hell.

I didn’t want to kiss her. I didn’t want to give in to her. I didn’t want to even spare a glance at this bond- but she’s so persistent in seeing me. With those pretty russet eyes peering into my blue ones- how the fuck could I resist her temptation?

She didn’t do anything…

And the worst part is- I wanted to do it again. And again. And again. Frustratingly- I ran a hand through my hair. There was a reason I avoided her like she was Corona and I was quarantined last week, then I- no she, had to fuck it up.

Fuck- even the way she said my name…

It was so soft, I could only imagine what Chris put her through. I fucking know close to nothing on the subject. She barely tells Reseda about what she went through- so how the hell is she supposed to help her if my Flower won’t speak up?

I do know it was horrendous, I witnessed what he did to her that day first hand. I was a fucking raging bull like my name was De Niro. And then the hospital… I tore Rex apart. No one gets to fucking touch what’s mine. I don’t give a shit if he didn’t know she was my mate.

Bastards…

Reseda informed me that she was barely gaining weight- it was irritating. She’s a stick! But again- I don’t know what exactly she’s been through so I shouldn’t be saying shit but fuck!

It’s evident that she’s been raped, no question about it. Reseda’s report confirmed it…

Fuck.

She was not who I envisioned my mate to be. She fucking cuts herself for fuck’s sake! And it’s not her fault but it hurts like hell to know she does that. Why can’t she be smart?

( 'That’s not her fault- she has trauma, fucking jerk…' )

I wasn’t supposed to kiss her- and to be honest- I was slightly surprised she didn’t push me away after her last episode with me. And I almost triggered it again by tsk-ing her name today, but thankfully I caught myself.

I feel so stressed with this minuscule situation, I haven’t been laid in a week!

Fucking ridiculous….

But honestly- no one was attractive like Violet.

Mallory told me she’s been opening up slightly to him- and something so trivial in me envied him. Stupid wolf.

Last night she came to me. She looked so tired but was awake. I knew she was going through a sleeping disorder- she’s been going through a lot of disorders.

An eating disorder.

Sleeping disorder.

Possibly a mood disorder- she’s quiet so I can’t confirm yet.

All of which are due to her trauma. Her own PTSD.

Looking at my clock I see that it’s about four. I got up from the seat and walked over to the one behind my desk.

I was trying to focus on my work but my mind just kept replaying her kiss. So soft… I need to get her out of my head. I need to fucking focus, I don’t have time to think about her.

My work took up the hours I needed, and surprisingly I finished a lot earlier than I expected. I looked back up at the clock debating what I should do.

9:34.

Violet should be in her room by now.

( 'See her' )

The fuck? No. I kinda wanted to- wait, no. I don’t. I don’t want to see her pretty self, no.

I got up deciding I should get some dinner even though I was well over late- I know there are some leftovers in the fridge. Well- Violet’s leftovers to be more exact. Anything she didn’t eat, I instructed the chefs to give to me.