"Well, I see," Leila replied. A hint of smile crept upon Leila's face. In her mind, she fantasized and depicted a happy and comfortable life after getting married to Charles.
"Is there anything else?" Charles asked impatiently, squinting at Leila. In front of Charles, she hated it when his aloof facial expression would only turn soft whenever the subject of their discussion was about Charlie. Charles maintained a poker face and a considerably annoying distance from her if the topic was not about his son. He repulsed spending even a petty amount of time with her.
"That's... all," Leila stammered in a voice still trying to be sweet with Charles. Charles dropped the cigarette end on the ground, stamped his right foot on it, and rushed back to his nearby car.
Like a true, sensible and doting wife, Leila escorted Charles to his car, bid goodbye then urged him to drive home safely.
However, Charles made no response, closed the car door and haphazardly drove away. Leila stayed at the drive way while staring blankly at the departed car. The mixture of gasoline fume and smoke emitted by Charles' car along with the flying dirt completely swallowed her.
Leila and Charles' conversation only lasted like the time spent in a couple of cigar puffs. It was always very short. And, she even played her Charlie card as an excuse to make Charles pass by and talk to her. Yet still, he was so unwilling to spend more time with her.
Just like the many incidents before, she was again bewildered and clueless on what to do next to make Charles stay longer.
With a growing self-pity, Leila walked back to the house, and then went upstairs. She knocked on Charlie's door and after receiving his permission, she pushed the door open and came in. She found Charlie and noticed he had already taken a bath. He was in clean pajamas and was lying on his bed.
"So, what's up?" Charlie asked, as he looked up at her in contempt. Charlie's condescending facial expression reminded her of Charles' scornful look at her.
Leila dared not snap nor confront Charles whenever he was doing that to her. But, when she had internalized that Charlie treated her the same way, she couldn't help but release the wrath she'd been keeping for so long. Truly irritated, she yelled at the boy hysterically,"Charlie, don't you dare look at me like... I'm... I'm a piece of shit! I'm... your mother and definitely not a nuisance, you brat!"
Actually she had been wanting to tell Charles the same exact words, that she wasn't a nuisance. 'I'm not a pest. Why does he always avoid me as if I were a rat?' she thought bitterly.
Astounded, Charlie knitted his brows and stared at Leila wordlessly.
Since he could remember, Leila never got mad at him like this.
After she vented out her surging emotions, she saw the tensed look at Charlie's innocent face. She instantly succumbed to regrets. Leila sprinted towards Charlie and tried to hug him. However, the boy raised both his hands up at his eye level to stop her from doing it.
Charlie didn't like being physically touched by others. And that was including Leila. Even though she was his mother and the only family he knew, he really couldn't get himself fully comfortable at being too close to her.
"I'm your mother, why don't you let me approach and hug you?" Leila asked, with a mortified expression. She suspected before, it was Charlie's inborn nature. So, she was just cool with his indifference in the past. But recently, she discovered that she was wrong after witnessing his attitude towards his father, Charles.
'In front of Charles, Charlie acts like a normal child. He played with him, laughed, got angry and sometimes even behaved like a spoiled brat...
I raised him all these years, but why does he remain so distant from me? There was always like an invisible brick wall between us. His guards are up when I am around. With Charles, he is carefree and never gets bored. Is it because they share the same blood?' she wondered and shivered at the thought.
Already recovered from the recent shock, Charlie coolly replied,"You are thinking way too much." The boy couldn't figure out also and thought, 'I don't know why I have this aversion to Leila. Before Charles appeared, she was my only family and companion. Besides, she treats very well and loves me. She has provided me with everything. I actually couldn't ask for more. But I always feel weird each time she touches me, I get goosebumps all over my body and a revolting feeling ensues.'
"Am I?" Leila sneered disappointingly.
Leila suddenly fell on a long and sinister memory lane. 'He and Charles are very much alike in character. Like his father, he won't waste any time or emotions on other people or things they are not affectionate of. When I took him with me, he was just a baby and still very weak. Under my care, he grew up into a healthy and well-behaved boy. Even though he is the son of the woman I hate most, I love him and have dedicated my whole life to him. I've made tough life choices with him as my top priority, without caring much for myself. I have never been mean to him... not even a bit.
Comments
The readers' comments on the novel: The Apple of My Eye