The beast and the blessed novel by Ashley Breanne novel Chapter 98

Ninety-Eight: Natalie

Natalie's P.O.V.

I could hear Her melodic voice on repeat, telling me to let go. She wanted me to lose control, control I had tried so hard to maintain. But she had been right.

I had lost control. I had let my emotions rule my magic, and now thousands were dead. It didn't bother me that they were. They needed to die to save the lives of my people. I would do it again in a heartbeat if I needed to.

But that was the problem. That was what I was scared of. What if I accidentally did it again?

How many of my own people would die because I got too angry, too scared, or too sad?

I wanted to celebrate with my pack as the city was alive with excitement. Bonfires were lit throughout the city, and people ate and drank to their hearts' content.

What we had anticipated being a long and drawn-out war, had ended in a matter of hours. We had lost so few that while they would be mourned and missed, the joy of so many returning home was something to celebrate.

Yet, I had difficulty enjoying myself when I felt like a ticking time bomb. I was too exhausted to think it would happen tonight, but what about tomorrow or next week?

My hands gripped the cold stone as I sat on the front steps of the castle, watching as Killian laughed and cheered with a drink in his hands. I had never seen him so carefree. It took almost an hour of me encouraging him to enjoy himself before he agreed to one celebratory drink.

He would be back at my side in a few minutes once his drink was gone, caring for me.

He understood that I needed a minute alone, and he respected that. Still, his eyes never strayed from me for more than a few minutes as he watched me with concern.

'It gets easier.' The voice came through the pack link, startling me.

I glanced to my left as Tobias moved to sit on the step below me, close enough to reach out and touch him if I wanted to but far enough away that I still felt like I had the space I needed.

'What does? Killing someone?' I asked before biting my tongue as I felt the lump in my throat grow more prominent, making it hard to swallow.

'Living with the fear that your strength may one day rule you. That you may hurt those you love.' His quiet admission felt more personal than I had expected, and I glanced down at the back of his head as he stared out over the land straight ahead.

Past the courtyard, there were lines of bonfires through the streets, with children running wild and adults drinking and cheering. Yet, he looked lost... broken.

His shoulders were slumped slightly forward, and his hand was clenching and unclenching as it hung over the front of his knee.

He didn't have to vocalize it for me to know that the loved ones he was worried about hurting included Joselin.

She had been healed physically but was still recovering with several other wounded warriors in the infirmary. I knew it was her choice because when I visited, she did the same thing I did and sent everyone away. She wanted to be alone.

No one knew what had happened on that mountain yet. Agatha had been lost to her injuries and Joselin...

I wasn't sure what Joselin had witnessed in those mountains or what it was like to be stabbed, but she was fighting her own demons.

'Why did you wait so long to talk to me?’ I wondered, looking back to my mate.

Killian's eyebrows pinched together as he stared at my guard. I knew he was deciding if Tobias was bothering me. But I smiled as Killian looked at me for reassurance that I was okay.