The Carrero Contract - Selling Your Soul (Mafia Romance) novel Chapter 25

I relax immediately with the hint of softer. Starting to really let go of what happened upstairs when faced with normal Alexi.

‘‘Was that a try at funny? Did you just make a joke?’’

I can’t help the smile of relief that washes over me, that he’s back to being just his bastard self instead of psycho self. His pupils are larger and I wonder if his no-show was him just giving himself time to come down and level out. Getting that crap out of his system so he could act less insane. He knows he must be more controlled, even in his own domain.

‘‘I do occasionally make them. So, tell me London, how’s first night show time coming along?’’ He drinks his booze in one shot and taps his glass on the bar to get another, the tender running obediently to comply and I just swirl mine around disinterested in getting a foggy head tonight when I must be on the ball. I was never a whisky fan at the best of times. All previous drama forgotten between us.

‘’Boringly content and quiet. Your little sex club is ticking along quite nicely and everyone is behaving.’’ I nod along to the loud area in the sunken room, and we watch as a tall stout man is led along the discreet hallway by two girls giggling and flirting mercilessly with him, one is already topless and stops to kiss her counterpart seductively. Alexi sighs and turns to his fresh drink with a look of complete disinterest; not a guy that’s happy his new venture is being a first night success. He seems listless and agitated, as though he doesn’t really want to be here.

‘‘Let’s go upstairs. You don’t have to be afraid to be alone with me. I won’t hurt you.’’ He throws me a glance and I watch him for a moment, something still quite off in his demeanour, trying to second guess this sudden invitation to hang out with a guy who rarely puts up with my company. It’s not something we do when it’s not work related.

‘’What about watching over this … isn’t that what you pay me for?’’ I wave my hand back at the club and he just shrugs it off.

‘’I pay you to do what I say, and I want you upstairs with me tonight.’’ He repeats sternly, and I catch the little flicker of a jaw muscle. He may seem like he is back to normal, but there is a restlessness and hint of aggression peeking through. I normally see him this way when business stresses him out and he lets off steam by fucking the life out of some bimbo upstairs. It doesn’t sound like it’s just for a nightcap and an early to sleep routine if he is giving me the invitation instead of rounding up a fresh kill.

Alexi is looking to release his excessive energy, and he is looking at me to vent into. I falter, a refusal on my lips as nerves get the better of me but there is that stirring deep inside of me that knows I want to know what it’s like; If that is what he intends with this invitation.

All the butterflies and tingles he gives me with his close proximity will be more intense if he screws me, and the thought sends a little shiver of anticipation through me, every part of my reproductive system perks up and shimmies itself to attention.

‘’I thought you said no sex.’’ It’s out without thought, putting my cards on the table because we both know that’s what he is suggesting, and he smiles at me softly. No qualms, no denial that’s what this is.

‘’So did I. Maybe Gino has a point and this, us, is tension. There’s always something between us that usually ends in hostility; If I get it over and done with then I might not be so … possessive of my toys.’’ He smirks, making a funny over his cray-cray upstairs and I shake my head at him. Unable to stop the genuine smile breaking free because we both know that is exactly what he is and it relieves the last of my uneasy tension. Just when I think he’s a complete arse he goes and makes a self-depreciating joke about one of his biggest flaws and melts my ice a little. Carrero is a weird one.

‘’I don’t think it’s a wise move. We have a business relationship and sex, even casual, can make a mess of everything. We know where we stand right now. Don’t muddy the waters Carrero, it’s not like you.’’ I get up to move away determined not to let this change, despite my body yearning to have him inside of me now he has planted that seed in my head. I ignore the way my underwear is heating up and remind myself that it’s better to keep everything on a flat platform where we both know where the line lies. I’m aware that adrenaline from fear can boost my libido crazily, and that’s all this is. I’m horny and looking for release because he scared the shit out of me. ‘BOB’ will take care of it later.

Alexi catches me by the hip and draws me to him, even though I am trying to get away discreetly, and he is having none of it. He slides his glass back and stands up, moving in a flash, so he’s face to face, pulling me against him bodily with minimal effort. I pause, holding my breath as he moves in and runs a finger across my cheek as he slides a strand of hair away.

My skin erupts with fire and goose bumps and I stifle the urge to push him away, heart pounding at the very real possibility he is contemplating this, and I just turned to putty with a touch.

Alexi is strong and solid and very male, all the things which make my body peak and warm to aching for sex. I should tell him No, make it clear that this is dumb, yet a tiny part of me is tempted, even if I am clawing myself inside in fear of what this step might do. The tingling gnawing throb in my nether regions is clouding any rational thoughts, as grey eyes lock on mine and keep me captive.

‘‘Sex means nothing to me. It’s just something I like and do. It won’t change anything except take away the temptation. Clear the air.’’ I don’t know if he is trying to convince me or himself with that statement and I want to say we should stop, yet my body is practically peeling its own clothes off. I have no self-control when it comes to this man being this close. That weirdness about him is still in the air and I wonder if it’s still the after-effects of whatever strength of his own coke he was snorting.

That would and could explain this complete U-turn in what he wants, and I truly do not know what to do. Sense says run, my naughty inner goddess who hasn’t been fucked in so long is saying open your legs and have the time of your life. Alexi has been a lure from day one and the being denied him has only made this more tempting. My head is a mess as I try to figure out what the hell to do.

Open a can of worms, mess, hostility, and destroy the puzzle of us that I am not sure I would know how to put back together, to say screw it ‘let’s have sex’ and do things to me I have fantasised about for weeks. Or say no and stop myself leaping into the fire and probably regret not taking the chance.

If he is this possessive now, what will letting him sleep with me do? And what about his tastes in what he likes to do during sex? I can’t be tied up and I won’t be his submissive either. There are things from my past which have left their mark, internally engraved in me and certain sexual scenarios that I know I’ll freak out over. No matter how much I have tried to overcome them.