The Carrero Effect - Falling for the Boss (Billionaire CEO) novel Chapter 194

“Joey’s … An old friend from Queens.” I know how stupid his reaction to the bear was the first time he ‘met’ him, whether it was in jest or not, it highlighted Jake has a severe jealous side and would probably miss the name of the bear. I hope it makes him suffer in the way he’s making me suffer right now. I hang up just as he explodes. Silencing the onslaught of Carrero abuse and craziness. I stand trying to calm the panic surging through me, my body shaking violently and my nerves trembling. Weak and hysterical, my heart pounding through my chest. I know everything is falling apart around me. My world is crumbling.

I jump as my phone rings and his number flashes across my screen, but I red button him in defiance. He wanted to be an asshole and now he suddenly wants to talk. I reject button him a second time when it rings again.

ANSWER THE FUCKING PHONE!!!! The text beeps on almost as soon as I lay it face down on the bed, inner fear sweeping over me, so my body turns cold and my limbs weaken.

Jake’s angry, angry. Maybe I pushed things too far?

My anger almost drops out of me with insane speed to be replaced with immediate remorse. I should know better than to rile the jealousy card with Jake, it makes him irrational and aggressive, even with me. He sees red and can’t seem to control it. He admitted to me he’s never had any feelings like that in his past, all so new to him and overpowering and I’ve just handed him a lit grenade when he’s drunk and already pissed. I know him. I know his need to lash out and hurt things, hurt people when consumed like this. As a teen he beat his way through a drunken fueled haze many a time and made the headlines. Last thing he needs now is another front-page mess because his girlfriend tipped him over the edge.

What have I done to him? I’m so stupid! So, fucking stupid! I’m supposed to make him a better man, want to be a better man.

I pick up the phone, swaying with indecisiveness and try to call him, my hands shaking violently. Sick with nerves. I get his voicemail and my stomach drops. I try again and again, five times in twenty minutes but I get his voicemail every time and it suddenly dawns on me he’s switched his cell off.

He’s beyond raging with me; he’s gone off the charts angry. I text him quickly, hoping to god he switches it on and sees it before he does something beyond stupid or calls me back.

Jake, I’m sorry, I was angry, please don’t go mad … Joey is the bear you won for me, remember? I’m in my old apartment xxx I love you. I’m sorry.

I send it with the overwhelming feeling of fear tightening my stomach. Choking on tears and regret.

Maybe I should go back to the apartment tonight and be there for him coming home; fix this. Fix my stupidity. I should know better than to ever play that card with him, it’s the guaranteed way to make him lash out and do something stupid like get in a bar brawl or come home and smash another wall.

That much testosterone fueled by booze and jealousy is a lethal combination and I just lit the fuse. If he’d done the same to me, I would have flipped the psycho switch and no telling what I would have done. I feel so stupid.

I sit shaking for what seems like an eternity before I finally get enough courage to gather my things and call for a cab, it’s going to be one expensive ride home and the most agonizing journey, but I need to be there when Jake finally comes home. I need to show him that the only bed I was climbing into was his. I pick up my phone and send one last text.

Please come home, Jake … I’m getting a cab back to Manhattan. I’m sorry xxx I need to see you. I miss you.

I take a deep, steadying breath and swallow down the urge to cry. Body shaking violently, and all resolve gone. Pulling myself together, I call for a cab and get ready while awaiting its arrival.

* * *

The journey feels endless and the driver makes no attempt at conversation, luckily Jake always insists I carry cash for emergencies and his generosity means it’s more than I realized was even in my purse. It warms me a little knowing he put it there should I ever be caught somewhere in desperate need of assistance; that I had money to use. It just makes me feel even more wretched for hurting him this way, for letting him think I would do that. I’m an idiot, I know this and try his phone for the hundredth time, it’s still off. Tears pour down my cheek and my heart aches. I have so much to make up for.