The Carrero Effect - Falling for the Boss (Billionaire CEO) novel Chapter 245

“I told you I needed to learn to forgive myself too and that’s what’s stopping me. I haven’t forgiven myself for hurting you. It doesn’t matter that you seem to be able to forgive me and love me. I still feel like a complete shitty asshole for what I did to you. I don’t deserve every part of you back, Emma. When I look at you it kills me that I hurt you, this perfect, angelic, trusting face, that looks at me like I’m her everything. Don’t you see how much it hurts to know the sadness you carried in these beautiful eyes for the past few months is because of me? Not some bastard from your past but me … That I hurt you, baby. I never wanted to be that guy to you. When you told me what happened to you, I swore to myself, right there and then, that I’d never do that to you. That I’d never do anything to put that look of devastation there again, but I did, and I saw it, and no matter how hard I’ve tried I can’t get your broken face out of my head anytime I think of touching you that way.” Jake’s voice breaks.

His hands tighten on my shoulders and he clears his throat in a bid to dislodge the intense emotions caught there. I am stupefied into silence. My head is racing around in circles unable to formulate one sentence with the mish mash of thoughts brimming through my brain. My heart aching between love at what he’s saying, how deeply scarred it has made him and by sadness that he can’t overcome it the way I have.

“Jake … If I can forgive you, then all of this is stupid.” I blink up at him and see nothing but guilt and self-hatred looking back. This is never what I wanted for him; this is not how I want him to still feel about what he did. I need to fix this, because this is not the Jake I want, or the one I know he can be.

I lift my hand to his on my shoulder and clutch it, pulling it down, then turn with complete determination and yank him with me. He follows obediently like a child as though he somehow knows I’m in no mood to be questioned or refused. I storm straight for the front hall, hauling him with me at speed before he can protest. I turn at the stair and pull him after me. He’s being compliant, letting me for the first time in existence be the one to take charge without argument; a part of me tells me he wants this as much as I do. I’m empowered and not in the mood for any resistance.

Daniel and Leila appear at the top of the stairs as we come level with them looking a little disheveled. Daniel is sporting a bloody noise and a grin like the Cheshire Cat; I don’t want to know. They obviously have some severely kinky preferences and Daniel is more than able to handle Leila at her absolute worst. She seems to look a little less aggressive at least and as his hand is on her ass without any refusal from her, I assume it’s all good.

“Let yourself out, we will resume whatever later … Don’t wait for us.” I command and give Jake another demanding yank behind me. He just follows obediently with absolutely no expression on his face. He’s probably mulling over everything he said in the kitchen and wondering if I am having some sort of psychotic break that he should indulge in because of me being fragile and pregnant … I wouldn’t put it past him.

I catch Daniel throwing a cautious look over my head at Jake. He seems confused but sees some sort of sign in Jake’s face that satisfies him so they both slide past us and head down the stairs. Leila giggles as she mumbles “about time.” The sound of a slapped ass echoes our way and they disappear out the door.

I lead Jake in a very commanding manner to the biggest bedroom of the house. The one that previously held the huge four poster bed, the one I’ve already chosen as our bedroom. It’s the master suite of the whole house with the best view and I’ll make a goddamn start on claiming my home! Bedroom first.

It has thick plush carpets that are still here, and drapes left hung on the windows. I let go of Jake at the door and walk into the room toward the windows, grabbing the curtains and drawing them hastily. My mind completely made up, set on what I’m going to do to fix this little situation. Jake has spent the past couple of months fixing my emotional issues for me and I am sure as hell going to do it to him in true grand Carrero style. Never take no for an answer and don’t back down when what you want shows resistance. I’m going to earn my future surname.

Turning to the middle of the room I march forward and immediately start taking off all my clothes in a confident non-caring manner. Completely unbashful and not giving an actual fuck that the door is still open. I watch him stand a little taller, raising an eyebrow as he watches me.