I’m lying in the bath resting my aching bones after dragging Sarah around the city with Jefferson in tow. I did it, I abused Jake’s credit card shamelessly and bought a mountain of stuff for my growing tadpole and its swelling vessel, in the form of cute maternity clothes. I was a woman on a mission, pushed and encouraged by Sarah and her undying enthusiasm, gushing over the cutest baby items ever. I don’t have an ounce of guilt over it either.
Okay so maybe this baby thing is finally real. I’m starting to feel … Dare I say it … Excited. It’s the bootee aisle in the baby shop that did it.
I skim my hands over my stomach, that little inner tingle expanding some more, only this time I stop and analyze what this weird feeling is, the one that comes anytime I allow my thoughts to land on this little being suspended inside of me. The tingling, slight achy sensation in my heart and stomach, a strange fluttery breathless tightening.
Love.
I love my baby … I love Jake’s baby … I love our baby.
I sigh and relax into the tub a little looser, a smile plastered on my face as I recognize and embrace this new feeling. Now that I can identify it, I can see how different it is to anything I’ve ever felt before, something deeper and instantly stronger, almost close to what I feel for Jake, yet different. I love this sweet unformed being, body and soul in a way that is as all-consuming as how I feel for him.
I know if Jake ever did anything to hurt it or me, in the way my mother’s lovers did, then I would take this child and run, run far as I can and lock us both in a safe little box that no one would ever get through. I would die to protect this tiny being inside of me.
This is what my mother lacks. The overwhelming protective desire to do anything within her power to protect me. Maybe not all women get that maternal surge, but Jake is right. I do and it’s so strong it’s overwhelming me; from this instant I know I’ll never be anything like her. So sure in this fact and realizing it, I smile to myself and slide down in the tub with a sense of happiness and self-assurance.
I have wireless headphones on, the iPad running through all the songs Jake has sent me, sighing at the memories, feeling more than a little euphoric with every melody. Shopping today was exhausting and yet, I’m strangely energetic. My body is alert and tingling and extremely happy; only one more day and he’ll be back with me … with us. I stroke down my stomach, comforting our little tadpole, missing its daddy as much as I am already.
I sit luxuriating in the hot bubbles, completely immersed in thought, eyes closed, when I’m shocked, blood freezing, hearts stopping, terror induced to sudden attention. A hot mouth lands on mine delivering a kiss that has me jerking back in shock, followed by an almighty slosh of water which drenches my face in a gasping wave and has me grappling for air. Strong hands yank my headphones off my head at the same time as I make an attempt at rescuing myself from drowning.
The urge to panic comes out full throttle, snapping my eyes open at the assault, I’m met with cheeky green eyes and the biggest grin I’ve ever seen. Jake is straddling me in the water, and he leans in for a second kiss without any apology.
“Surprise.” He grins, as our mouths meet again, his teeth colliding with my lips. I’m startled and floundering in his embrace, not sure if I should be happy at his sudden appearance or smack him for scaring the living soul out of me. My heart is pounding through my chest right and I’m heaving in breaths to calm down. I slap his shoulder haughtily and only get a grin in response.
“You scared the shit out of me!” I scorn, as he lifts me higher in the bath, stroking the damp hair off my face; nestling me into position so he can get closer.
“I saw you lying here looking fucking breathtakingly beautiful and I just couldn’t help it.” He grins again and I flick water at him as he leans over me, waist high in the bath. I realize he still has his T-shirt and hoody on, and I can feel jeans … maybe even trainers down the sides of my legs. He’s completely insane.
“You couldn’t stop, and you know … Undress?” I glance him up and down as he starts slowly and sexily unzipping his sodden hoody. My eyes welded to the way his clothes are molding themselves to every hunky muscle in his body complimenting his appealing physique.
“Nope … Like I said, you looked too inviting. I rushed my meeting and got everything done in one day to get back to you, so I wasn’t waiting a second more.”
That smile though … heart stopping to say the least.
Oh, God that man. He melts my heart so effortlessly.
He peels off his upper layers, wringing them out, and tosses them toward the open shower floor in a basketball slam-dunk move.
Could you be any more of a guy?
“Planning on staying?” I look him up and down as he slides back to sit at the other end of the bath, fishing into the bubbly depths for trainers and socks, launching them toward his discarded clothes.
“Yup.” He leans back against the tub and wriggles a lot before producing the rest of his attire. The water is sloshing everywhere so now the floor is soaked too.
“Nora will kick your ass when she sees this mess.” I push my toes at his chest, and he catches my foot with a quick hand. He pulls me down the tub, with a little tug, and I squeal in response, slapping my arms to the side to stop myself submerging. He doesn’t let go and starts kneading the ball of my foot expertly.
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