ten minutes later they walk out, abel 's fingers wrapping back around the straps of his bag and noah's pushed in his pocket so neither of them accidentally make a move to hold the other's hand. there is so much tension between them, not the one that demands answers or brews uncertainty—it's almost completely the opposite. both of them are aware of their wandering gazes, the way their eyes stay too long on each other and the way their mouth goes dry once they notice a particular thing about each other.
noah can't stop staring at abel 's skin,
just how good his champagne skin will look when he sinks his teeth into his neck and mark him the way he did the last time they were together. he can't stop staring at his wavy hair, how soft it would feel if noah lets his fingers disappear into the curls and the sounds abel would make when he would pull at it the slightest. he can't stop staring at his lips, the way the flesh is ruined with cracks and are tinted in such an inviting shade of red. he can't stop staring at his body, the way his backpack doesn't meet his spine because of the arch in his back, the way his sweater clings to his curves and the way his tight jeans accentuate his hips—god he is the most beautiful person he has ever seen.
he has accepted abel 's mistake, and now as abel walks right next to him, breathing in the same air as him, he still doesn't feel any bitterness towards the younger male. all he feels is the desperation, the love, the ache in his heart of wanting to start a life with him again. he wants them to live in the same house and sleep in the same bed and shower and eat and laugh together.
but he knows it's too soon for any of that, right now their hearts are too delicate and they need to take it slow, to build it up from scratch, to start as friends and then boyfriends and then finally act like the married couple they are. it's not an idea he can't accept because he knows he owes this to himself, he needs to be patient, he needs to let things fall into place at their own pace because rushing things has never brought any good to them.
"where exactly are we going?" abel breaks their comfortable silence and noah looks at him, glad to catch a glimpse of how abel 's eyes catch the sunlight and appear more golden, the brown pattern swirling gently and almost distracting noah from his question.
"um, i don't know actually," noah replies after a while. "do you have anything in mind?"
"so you take me on a date after three years and you still aren't prepared? rude," abel nudges him with his elbow playfully and noah smiles guiltily at him.
"just wanted to see how bothered you get, it's funny," noah lies. well, it's not completely a lie because noah did want to want abel get flustered and it did humour him, but he also couldn't stop himself from being close to him.
"you're so annoying," abel mutters, gripping noah's hand tighter and silently hoping that he pulls something like this again because all abel wants to do right now is for noah to touch him and make up for all the years that they spent in agonising recovery, and he is definitely too shy to make the first move. he knows there is a lot of talking that needs to be done in terms of what their relationship is going to be, if abel is supposed to move in again, are they supposed to just be friends or jump straight into their married life but all that seems a lot less important when all on abel 's mind is the way noah's fingers wrapped around the curve of his waist and how noah's lips lingered on his ear and how noah's teeth scraped against his earlobe.
he might actually go insane.
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