Through the Screen novel Chapter 58

noah feels pathetic.

his eyes are glazing over every other second, and the taste of bitter alcohol is dissolving on his tongue. the fact that he has to resort to this toxicity to forget about his own husband is petty in more ways than just one, and he looks over at adrian's room to make sure that it's still locked.

he remembers the time when abel was buying different kinds of alcohol just to keep them against the far wall of their kitchen, unconsumed, and how noah was the one who wasn't in the favour of having such things when they had a child in their house.

today, he feels thankful for the brown whiskey swirling in his glass.

his eyes are fixed on the dimly lit screen of his phone, shuffling through contacts and trying to find someone, anyone, who he can talk to and let this restricted feeling out of his chest. he wants to cry and break things and lie down and eat all at once just to find the comfort that he can't find in his apartment.

his mind is twisting, uncensored thoughts on full display and the disguised thought of seeking revenge, to hurt abel as much as he's hurt him is blaring in bold dark colours in his brain. he wants to shake it out, to find some rationality or any explanation behind abel 's actions but he just can't find any.

he doesn't want to doubt abel, that is the last thing he wants to do, but he's feeling utterly helpless and abel 's vague explanations are not doing anything to kill the wild suspicion. the thought of abel with another man in the chilled mornings and at the bewitching hours of the night in a club, is something that noah can't forgive even if he wants to.

he shakes his head, his vision blurring just the slightest before he decides to dial a number that he was avoiding, and presses the cold metal against the shell of his ear as he leans over the kitchen counter, his head in hands.

"hello?" the voice is holding slight confusion, as to why a stranger that he met in a bar is calling him at one am, but noah has no other choice but to clear his throat and reply.