Too Beautiful for the Alpha novel Chapter 9

The mate bond is his name tattooed on my heart, never to come off, to be replaced or ignored. It's his face and body constantly floating through my mind because I ache for him, not able to control my wandering thoughts. The mate bond is a curse cast upon me the moment I saw him, and it was cast upon him, as well. Theodore's words linger in my head as he drops me off at the house—my excuse being pressed into me—and I can't help but hope. He may act like he doesn't care for you, but he can't control it.

Alpha Grant can't control the mate bond, like me. He may be an Alpha, but he is no God. Even if he acts like he doesn't think once about me or care how I am doing, he can't control it, he can't help it. He must think about me just as I think about him. It's in the bond, my name is tattooed on his heart whether he likes it or not. But this is where I could get my hopes up.

I make my way up the porch steps and through the door, not expecting even a 'welcome home', but I am wrong. When I have the door open hardy an inch, I smell him, that intoxicating cologne that seeps into my skin and toys with my emotions. I pause, but I know it is too late to run off, he's there, he's seen the door open, he knows I'm on the other side. Before I can force myself to push the door open the rest of the way, jumping off the bridge, a force swings it open, almost taking me with it. He's impatient.

I peer up and find him standing in front of me like a statue of a king, his hypnotic eyes staring down at me like a roadblock on his pathway to happiness. I shrink under his gaze, already feeling my lack of speech coming on again.

"Where did you go?" He asks, his voice firm and unforgiving.

I look up at him with big eyes, gazing like a deer in headlights, waiting to be hit. "I-I. . ." Speak, Rae. Speak! "I was on the, uh, other side of the pack."

He must think that I think he's stupid because he gives me a look that says 'I know you're lying.' The mate bond inside of me tugs and my throat runs dry. "I'll ask again," Alpha Grant says, "where were you today?"

I peer down, confused, and before I can stop myself the words are spilling out, "Why ask when you don't really care to know?" And while I'm brave I blurt, "I want to go home." He says nothing before moving back, letting me enter, but I am not sure if he truly wants me to. I walk inside, hesitant, and I turn to face him again. "I'm dying here, and the worst part is that you know I am and you're letting me."

A breath escapes him. "You're dramatic."

I suck in a breath. "You're cruel. So cruel. I went across the borders, that's where I was all day." And with that, I head for the stairs and storm to my bedroom like a child. Once inside, I slam the door and fall back against it, fighting the urge to pound my fists against it. Needing an escape, I go to grab my iPod off of the bedside table, only it isn't there, then I turn to the shelf, and my books are gone. I panic and see that the phone I took from the living room is missing as well.

I run out of my room into the hall, my eyes shooting down the stairs to see him standing at the bottom with his arms crossed. "What did you do," I ask carefully.

"Don't ever go near the borders again," he says before walking off towards the kitchen.

I fly down the steps yelling, "What did you do with my things! What did you do!" I grab his arm, causing him to turn back to me, and if I wasn't in a rage of fury, I would gush about the sensations the connection gave. "You can't take my stuff. Give me my stuff."

He pulls away from my weak hold. "Who do you think you are?"

I have nothing left to lose. "I am nothing. You've made me nothing, I get it, okay? But the music and my books, my mom, it's all I have."

"It looks like you have nothing, then."

I clench my jaw and fight back the tears. People with nothing are dangerous. They are willing to go the extra mile. I move past him into the kitchen to find Gail washing vegetables, she smiles at me and says 'hello, Rae' but I am on a mission. I can feel his eyes on me as I slide open drawers, then I take out the biggest knife I see. Gail stops. "Rae, what are you doing with that. Here, give me that before you hurt yourself." But his eyes stay fixated on me.

"Give me my things," I say calmly, but he only looks amused.

"What are you going to do?" He asks, playing along. "Kill me?"

A short laugh escapes me. "No," then I lift the knife to my neck, "now give me my things."

"Rae," Gail shouts, "put that down!"

Alpha Grant looks amused. "You're going to kill yourself over some books?"

If I have one thing left, it's this curse of a bond, so I might as well prove to him that he can't ignore it. So I press the blade against my skin. "Maybe."