The more desperate I wanted to study, the less I could focus. My mind was wandering off to cloudland. I only snapped out of it when I felt a familiar warm hand on mine. I lifted my head, and my eyes met Ashton’s.
“Still upset?” Ashton broke the silence.
I lowered my eyes and shook my head. “No.”
If I had any anger, it was directed at me. For ten years, I lived under the protective wings of these two men. I allowed myself to stagnate and cease to flourish.
“Marcus had approached me for help,” Ashton started sharing. “It was before I went overseas. I already promised him I would help him, on the condition he shall not tell you about it. Yet, he still came and stayed a long time with you. And those securities did not notify me. Imagine how disastrous that would be if anything untoward happened, and those irresponsible securities failed to inform me.”
He began to sound resentful, but he suppressed his emotion in front of me. In the end, everything boiled down to him wanting to protect me.
He had my welfare in mind when he made those decisions, and he kept things hushed to protect me. On the other hand, I wanted to help Marcus as I felt indebted to him. Both men did no wrong.
“I am sorry.” I tried giving him a smile, but could only manage a bitter smile. “I used to feel indebted to Marcus only. Now, I can’t face his family as well.”
I always felt a sense of guilt and regret towards Camelia. Yes, we can put the blame on Camelia for not upholding her own dignity and pride. Nonetheless, we cannot deny the fact that if Marcus had not met me, she would not have transformed from a gorgeous princess to a disheveled housewife.
I gave it all to help a stranger like Yvonne, yet I was not as forthcoming when Camelia needed help. I could not forgive myself for this. Even if Camelia and Toby were to return safely, I wonder if I could still be at ease when I meet them in the future.
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