Wolf-less Omega Luna novel Chapter 43

Alana’s POV

I’ve been so delusional. I thought I was finally having a family. But as soon as things began to go south, it became “the Luna position,” and not mine. As though I was some option that they had been settling for.

Turning. Tossing. Whining with the unending pain that shattered my heart, I hadn’t been able to leave the bed in hours since the crowd in front of the house dispersed.

Axel had tried to make sure that I was okay but I just needed some space to think and allow myself to break and I guess he understood that, so he left to meet up with Tyler.

I had only made his life worse. When I knew it was almost impossible for me to thrive as Axel’s Luna, I stuck to him like a parasite and now his position was being threatened.

Even if he always seemed unbothered, I could tell he was unhappy that his pack was not accepting my place in his life.

This was all my fault. All of it was me. If I at least had a wolf, most of these things wouldn’t matter.
Anger burned through me. I was angry at myself, but even more mad at my wolf, Rox.

You left me when I needed you and now that I have someone who is trying to love me, you still find a way to ruin it for me. Why?

I didn’t expect an answer. I just sank my head between my shoulders and rapidly blinked my eyes to pat the glossiness dry. 

Jerad was right. When the time came for me to fight for the pack, how would I do it? Being able to smile and play with cubs’ fur certainly wouldn’t cut it.

Britney being good with swords and blades would do perfectly fine as Luna.

Simply put, I was not enough. I had always known it, but I guess I was blinded by the possibility that I could be.

I slowly got up to my feet and gripped the edge of the bed as I staggered for support. I had been in bed for too long and it was starting to take a toll on me.

Taking small steps to the closet with my heart drumming a thousand beats per second, I kept trying to tell myself that I was doing the right thing.

I should at least be the bigger person and not drag Axel down with me. Right?

I reached for ‘my’ worn-out skinny jeans that had been mine for as long as I could remember and forced them on. Pulled a top over my head and threw on my signature hand-me-down sneakers that had seen so many better days.

I didn’t know where I was going, but I had to leave. If I left, Axel wouldn’t have to do any stupid challenge, and neither will I.

A thick woven sweater was my best option to keep me warm if and when I found myself out in the cold night so I grabbed one without thinking twice.

“Where are you going?”

I gasped and turned around to find Axel staring, and me looking like a child caught doing what she wasn’t supposed to.

“Axel, I didn’t hear you come in.” That’s because I was too busy planning my escape.

I wiped my hand over my face to get rid of any moisture or any lingering redness.

His brows crinkled in confusion and after a small nod, he repeated. “Where are you going, Alana?”

“To take a walk. Clear my head.” Nobody would have believed that sorry lie but still, my hitched breath and the erratic pumping of blood to my head gave me away.

“You mean to walk away.” His voice had dropped low and his eyes narrowed.

A pang of guilt twisted my chest as my eyes finally met his dark blue ones. The pained look in his eyes surpassed whatever one he had when it was the pack’s words against me.

The words got stuck in my throat as thick tension filled me.

He took a commanding step towards me but I quickly mirrored it and took one back.

“Alana.” He cautioned… or pleaded.

“If I’m not here, you won’t be in this position. You won’t have to go through with the challenge. This burden,” I gestured to myself, “will be off your shoulders.”

“Do you think I cannot handle a little challenge if it’s for you?” His eyes turned soft, his voice laced with understanding. “Alana, listen to me.”

He took quick strides to me and there was nowhere else for me to go, so I let him touch me. As his hand connected with the spot on my neck and the electrifying feeling washed over me, I gave a second thought as to whether leaving was really a good idea.