Wooing The Ex-Wife novel Chapter 21

"Okay, you go," Liza said. Her voice strong, never wavering as she silently accepted the challenge posed by Jonathan's eyes. "Are you sure about it?" Jonathan asked, "I won't be asking you about your favorite color." He warned. Liza's determination wavered a bit. She knew that his questions would be related to their past and their future. It would be like opening the Pandora box' Did she want to go down that lane, again?' Liza asked herself. She was tired of her and Jonathan's weird relationship, they were civil for a moment, friends even and at that moment she felt like she was back with the Jonathan she had once loved but then she remembered all those months of pain and her walls locked her in again, far away from the potential threat to her heart. She didn't want to risk the barrier that she had built but she was tired of all the skirting around and her hot and cold behavior with Jonathan. Maintaining her cold composure took a lot of energy out of her and she wasn't sure about till when she would be able to hold it up. So with a bit of apprehension, she nodded her head.

Jonathan sighed. He hadn't expected Liza to agree to his challenge. He had only asked her teasingly if she wanted to play '20 questions' but when Liza had taken it as a challenge and had accepted it, he realized that it could be an opportunity to get a look into Liza's mind. He was aware that this game was going to hurt a lot and that he would have to dig back into his past sins and accept them all over again. It would be like getting branded with a hot iron rod and he wouldn't' be able to even cry about it because it was his fault in the first place and he would have to suffer through the consequences of deeds. He gulped as he took in the space between them and realized that this game could push them so far that they would be out of each other's life forever or it could bring them a step closer.

Jonathan gulped, running a hand through his hair. "Were you happy before I came?" he asked. Liza was startled with his question, she had expected him to ask her about their past and not about how she was after she had left him. she thought for a moment. 'Had she been happy before Jonathan came back?' , Liza asked herself. She had wonderful people in her life. Carson was just as warm as he had been before he had left the house and even more protective than he had been after he found out about Jonathan. Then there was Alex and Alice. Alex had been an awesome friend. He had supported her, cheered for her, and been there for her whenever she had one of her breakdowns. And then there was Alice, although Liza hadn't met Alice during those years they had kept in touch and she had been the one who had encouraged Liza to go out on dates, to have fun. Liza had a job that she loved. She was independent and confident, something she had always wanted to be. So even if there were bittersweet memories attached to the past few years r and even though her heart was chipped, she had been happy during the past four years.

"Yes, I was very happy before you came. I had so many reasons to be happy about and so many people to be happy for" Liza said her voice strong, never showing even a hint of hesitation. Jonathan didn't know what he wanted to hear, but he was relieved that Liza hadn't spent the last four years moping and in a haze as he had. After Liza had left he had spent a few months locked up in his room with his business slowly crumbling to the ground, it was only when his mother had asked him to stop being a coward and to accept the consequences of his deed if he ever hoped to see Liza again, when he had started working. After that, he had become almost like a machine. He was smiling for the cameras and crying in the confines of his room.

"Okay, my turn, "Liza said bringing him out of his thoughts. Jonathan braced himself for the question, "Why did you sign the deal with Leslie. You weren't interested in it before you came to the wedding. Then what changed?" Jonathan thought for a moment. It was true that he hadn't been interested in it before the wedding but after seeing Liza he couldn't let the opportunity slip through his hands, so he had immediately called his assistant and asked him to have his lawyer draw up a contract. After seeing Liza and finding out that she worked in Leslie's Company he had all but jumped into the deal, abandoning all the inhibitions he had before, about the deal. "Because of you," he said, looking straight into her brown eyes.

"Because of me?" Liza repeated, she had half expected to say something along the lines 'that the deal was good' or 'that he wanted to check out the competition before taking over the book publishing industry' but Jonathan's answer had been straight forward. Honestly, Liza knew that she had played some part in Jonathan's decision to accept the deal, the moment Leslie had insisted that she help Jonathan. However, she hadn't expected Jonathan to be so honest about it. The Jonathan she had known before would have made a million excuses, he would have never let anybody know that they hold some power over him but confessing that he had made a deal which could cost him half of his business was something which showed just that, it showed how much power she held over him, how much he was willing to do for her.

Jonathan looked at Liza as she processed his answer. He knew that she hadn't expected him to speak the reason out loud, but there was no reason for Jonathan to hold back. The past months, even if Liza had kept him away from her, building a chilling ice wall barrier between them, he had seen the person he had loved through fissures and at this point even if he got to see that person through tiny cracks, even if the barrier never broke down for his whole life, he would still be beside her just to get a glimpse of the girl he loves. So instead of making up some stupid excuse about it being profitable or something like that, he had allowed Liza to see his real reason because he knew from his last mistake that hiding anything would never do any good to their relationship.

Jonathan cleared his throat as he gathered courage from every grain of his being, knowing that the answer to this question had the potential to burn him all over, to cause him unimaginable pain. He looked at her trying to focus on her hair, her nose, her lips, anywhere other than her eyes, and said "Okay, my turn. Do you still hate me?"