Wooing The Ex-Wife novel Chapter 5

Liza entered her apartment, taking in the pictures adorning the wall, the black rug that Carson had brought for her when he had gone to Russia, the warm beige couches and instantly felt relaxed. She had moved out from Carson's and Melanie's apartment after a year of getting job. They had never made her feel unwelcomed but she knew that like every other couple they needed their own privacy and their own space. So she had moved out and had bought this apartment. It seemed to be perfect for her. It was a cozy two bedroom apartment. Liza had spent last three years making the apartment. Her apartment was now a symbol that she was independent, that she didn't need to depend on anyone. She was proud of all of her achievements and making a home for herself in California was one of them.

She took in a deep breath and let her shoulders relax. Her mind unwinding from the events of the previous day. She had expected a chaotic wedding, it was Krista's wedding after all but she hadn't expected to meet Jonathan and neither had she expected to get drunk enough to pass out. She closed the door behind her and started removing her dress. After changing into a long T-Shirt probably belonging to Alex, she lied down on the bed her face hitting the pillow and her body sinking into the soft mattress.

She turned over so that she was on her back now and laid there staring at the stars that Carson and Alex had helped her to stick on the ceiling. The Glow in dark stars were childish and she knew that but she didn't mind the little bit of childishness in her life. She had spent too much time acting like a grown up, being mature about things, keeping quite when she should have thrown a tantrum or should have raised hell. The glow in dark stars reminded her that sometimes you have to demand things, you have to be stubborn and you have to keep your life simple and not overthink things just like a kid does.

Liza realized now that maybe somethings that had gone down between her and Jonathan had been her fault as well. Had she been more trusting towards him, more open about her past, they would have been in a different place. Maybe he would have come to her to discuss his problems, maybe he would have told her about the kiss with Stacy. Had she been more independent then she would not have depended on Jonathan like he was her lifeline. She would have found a way to survive.

It was funny in a way, the love she had craved for all her life, had been given to her and then had been snatched away just as quickly. She had spent more than a year to make herself trust Jonathan, to remove the suspicion that was always there in the back of her mind and when she had finally gotten rid of it and was convinced that what she and Jonathan had would stay the same forever she had found out that nothing stays frozen in time, people change and their feelings change too.

Maybe Jonathan had loved her when he claimed to do so, four years back but she had realized that she could never look at him in the same way., that whenever he would go to some trip leaving her behind she would always worry if he was replacing her with someone else that night and she could not live with that agony for the rest of her life. So she left him. After four years she thought that she was finally over him but now after seeing him again even if it was only for a few minutes, all the feelings that had been buried had risen again.

All the feelings of anger, stinging betrayal, and her love that had kept her from leaving him for so long had made a reappearance and now her mind was in chaos. She wanted to treat the encounter with indifference, just like she wished to treat Jonathan, like a stranger but she couldn't do it. She remembered how her heart beat had increased when she had seen him and how her skin had suddenly become hot when he had held her hand even if it was just for a second.