Chapter 78
Alena
The dinner was great and by the time we went back to our car, we were full. I couldn’t take another bite of the pizza but luckily enough, Matteo could finish the rest. We had spent the past hour talking and taking our sweet time because we didn’t want to think about what was going to happen.
We dreaded the moment of ‘returning‘ me back.
The drive to Matteo’s office was quiet and slow. For once in my life, I was grateful for the traffic because at least, we had a reason to be late. It was nice to spend time a bit longer with my husband even though we were just stuck in traffic.
I enjoyed us holding hands in the car.
Sometimes, he reached out to caress my thigh. Anything to make sure our skins were touching, regardless the type of physical touch.
Once we had reached his office, we stayed still for a little while.
Neither of us wanted to leave the car because we knew what was going to happen next. Igor and Mama was probably on their way here to pick me up but I had been silently praying for their delay, hoping for an extra time with Matteo.
My husband grabbed onto my hand before caressing the back of it. As he kissed the back of my hand, our eyes were pierced into one another–we were out of words to say, we had said enough but it felt as if we had a few missing pieces.
“I don’t want to go,” the words escaped my mouth.
Matteo’s eyes were filled with tears as he caressed the side of my face. It was a simple gesture but I knew both of our hearts were broken. He was trying hard to hide his own pain in order to attend mine, it was an act of love.
“I don’t want you to go,” he replied.
Within seconds, we were both crying and it broke us even more. He couldn’t keep his hands away from my face as I leaned into him, resting my face on his chest. It never bothered him if my tears were going to stain his shirt because all that mattered to him was me.
He leaned forward, kissing my forehead.
The kiss was long and meaningful. It was his way of showing how much he loved me, how much he wanted me here with him. We were two broken souls and we didn’t have a choice but to let go of each other temporarily.
“Come on… we have to be strong for each other. Don’t cry, Alena.”
“I can’t be strong. I need you with me,”
“I know and I need you with me, too. We’ll get through this and when we do, we’ll be back together. I promise.” He replied, wrapping his arms around my body.
Matteo’s words were promising and it calmed me down a little bit. Even though we were both unsure of what could happen in the future but we had hopes, we wanted our hopes to be the main reason we were pushing through. I knew the next few days were going to be painful because of our separation but we were going to survive.
I nodded, crying in his arms.
We spent the next few minutes in each other’s arms, without saying another word. Matteo helped to calm me down by rubbing onto my back while I stayed still in his arms. I loved it whenever he treated me this way, he didn’t have to express it in words because I knew he expressed them perfectly well through his actions.
1/4
Mon,
Chapter 78
He kissed my head a few times as he kept me close.
“They’re here,” he said as I pulled away.
0
I could see Igor’s car parked in front of us, quite far. However, it was just a walking distance and when I saw Mama stepped out of the car, I knew it was time for me to finally leave.
My heart continued to beat fast as I grabbed tightly onto Matteo’s hands before staring deeply into his eyes, “I love you so much. Please take care of yourself. For my sake?”
“I love you so much more, Alena. I promise.”
He leaned in to kiss my lips, softly yet passionately at the same time. Whenever our lips touched, we felt butterflies in our stomach and I couldn’t resist the temptation to deepen the kiss we had wished for more time, we had wished for a lifetime even but we were left to appreciate what we had.
Tears had slipped down my cheeks through the kiss.
Once we both pulled away, I could see the redness visible in his eyes but he tried to hide them by smiling. I knew he didn’t want to appear sad in front of me and I appreciated how much he put me first.
He stepped out of the car before walking to my side and opening the door for me.
Our eyes never left each other, even as I stepped out.
We walked hand in hand towards Mama and Igor, wanting to feel each other’s skin for the last time. As soon as we reached them, we knew it was time to let go.
Mama smiled sadly at us before wrapping her arms around my body, pulling me in for a hug.
“We have to go now,” she said.
I turned to look at Matteo, who was standing still in his spot. His lips were curved up into a small smile as he nodded, assuring it was fine. I wanted to run towards him and be in his arms again but I knew, I had to leave.
Ás Mama helped me to step into the car, I couldn’t keep my eyes away from him.
Igor drove down the road and Matteo was finally out of sight.
Mama glanced back at my direction for a few times but she didn’t say a word. It was probably the look on my face or the nonstop tears falling down my cheeks, she had thought it was best to leave me alone. I needed the time to process everything.
When we reached Papa’s house, we stepped inside in a hurry through the backdoor. We were scared if we got caught because we had made it this far and luckily enough for us, we made it into my room.
Mama stayed for the night as I cried, trying her best to comfort me,
I couldn’t remember how much I cried because before I knew it I had fallen asleep in her arms.
The next morning, I was awaken by the sound of my door being pushed open. My eyes blinked a few times as I pulled the blanket to cover my face, not wanting anyone to see the puffiness. I had expected Mama to come inside with breakfast like she always did but instead of Mama, it was Alexei.
I sighed before leaning back on the headboard, looking at him.
Alexei closed the door behind him as he continued to step inside, holding onto a tray of food.
“You can just leave it there,” I pointed at the table near the window.
2/4
+5
Chapter 78
He did as told, placing the tray there before he turned to look at me. I knew my brother well enough to understand he was thinking of things to say, as much as he tried to hide his expression. No one else could read his mind except for me.
“What do you want?” I asked, breaking the silence.
“Morning,”
“Morning. You can leave if you’re done,”
“I just have a few things to say.”
“Like what?”
“About you and Matteo.”
“You’re just going to hurt my feelings, Alyosha. We can have a long conversation but at the end of the day, you’ll always be a coward and you’ll always look up to Papa. That’s just how things are in this house,” I responded with a sigh before turning to look away.
“I should’ve defended you. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I have to stop depending on others.”
“I’m your
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