To me, a few hundred thousand was an astronomical amount. As of then, I barely had enough money to pay for food. How was I supposed to clear off Steven’s debts?
Just because I work in the city did not mean I had huge pay. I was just a normal employee working my tail off for a paycheck of less than ten thousand per month. Furthermore, I had paid off Steven’s debts countless times for the past few years. Besides, I had given up all of my savings for Dad’s heart stent surgery. My pockets had already been crying over all these expenses.
“Anna, you can’t just leave him out to die. Those men had already threatened to break Steven’s legs if he failed to settle the debt by next week. Steven is the only one in our family that will carry on the family name. He can’t end up with a broken leg!”
Throughout the entire time, Mom did not believe me when I said I was tight on money. She seemed to be living under the illusion that I was made of money. However, there was no way I could not hand over a few hundred thousand within a week.
Even if I could, I had no desire to hand them the money. Year after year, every time I helped Steven settle his debts, he would promise to stop. However, it would not be long before I receive another call asking for money. I truly was too exhausted to even bother anymore.
“Mom, there’s nothing I can do this time. I have help Steven paid off his debts for so many years that there’s hardly any money left on me. There is absolutely no way for me to even spare a penny right now. If they really want to break his legs, let them. A few hundred thousand for a leg seems like a good bargain.”
I lashed out at Mom in anger, deciding that I would not provide any help that time round. After all, if I continued spoiling Steven, he would never learn his lesson. Even if I could help him this time, how long more do I have to carry this baggage in the future?
In the beginning, the amount of his debts started out with ten or twenty thousand, which slowly increased to forty or fifty thousand over time. Suddenly, the amount had snowballed to over a hundred thousand, and his behaviors seemed to have worsened. I had my own needs, and I did not want to spend all my money on paying off debts that were not even mine!
“How could you say that, Anna? Stevie is your brother. How can you let someone break his legs? Do you still see him as your brother?”
Mom was infuriated by my words. I could even detect hints of accusation in her tone.
“What else can I do? Since he brought this upon himself, he should be the one to solve it. Can you guys not ask me for help every time something happens? I’m not omnipotent. I can’t solve every single one of your issues every single time.”
The wrath in my heart flared up even higher at Mom’s accusations. I had done and sacrificed so much for the family for so many years, yet all she could see was the fact that I refused to help them this time and even had the audacity to blame me.
“Anna, I know these few years had been hard on you, but please help us. I am begging you. Please help your brother out this time, will you? I promise he won’t gamble ever again. After this incident, he will sure learn his lesson.”
If it were any other day, Mom would snap at me if I ever made a single negative remark about Steven. However, even after the horrible things I had said, Mom was able to keep her calm just so that she could beg me for money. Perhaps she thought that I would relent.
A lump formed in my throat. I had not expected Steven to hold such a high position in Mom’s heart. On the contrary, she had never really cared for me.
The more Mom tried to defend Steven, the heavier my heart felt. I was only human. I longed for my mother’s love as much as anyone else. Unfortunately, Mom could only see Steven and not me.
I was her biological daughter too. Yet, she had never called, or to check up on me and see how I was doing; or if I need any financial aids.
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