Alpha Loren novel Chapter 150

When we arrived at the castle gates, Luca ordered two guards to collect Connor's body before carrying me upstairs to an empty room. He told me that because of the long journey back, the lateness of the day and the exhaustion of the army, that we would be staying in the castle until the next morning before going home.

He lit the fire, fetched me some blankets which he proceeded to wrap me in, made me a cup of hot cocoa and most importantly, kept me company. We didn't speak much but he was willing to sit with me regardless. I couldn't bear to be alone right now and Luca was the only person in this entire castle that could make me feel like I wasn't.

"You should try to get some sleep, Ells," he said after an hour or so of silence. "You look exhausted."

"Will you stay with me?" I asked.

"All night. I promise," he replied.

I smiled and nodded.

"Thank you, Luca. I don't know what I'd do without you," I replied before snuggling further into the blankets and comfortable bed.

I woke a few times in the night. Luca was always there. Either sleeping lightly at the foot of the bed or sitting awake as I slept. After replaying the entire event back in my head during a dream I made him come and lie next to me and spent a considerable amount of the night after that crying into his shoulder.

When the morning came, he brought me some food before offering to talk to Leo about letting my Dad out for Connor's funeral. He'd already sent a guard to inform him of the situation with Connor last night and I didn't want to imagine my Dad's feeling of pure grief along with the discomfort and loneliness of a dungeon. He was only prisoner of course.

"He said yes and he seemed truly sorry."

"Did he tell you to say that?" I asked.

"No. He didn't say much at all," Luca replied. "We have until midday to bury Connor before we have to leave this place."

I nodded.

An hour later, we had congregated around at the foot of a not quite frozen lake underneath a weeping willow tree. Luca and my Dad had found the best suits they could and I had found a white dress. Connor never wanted a depressing funeral- or at least as not depressing as possible.

I had watched as Luca and my Dad carried my brother's coffin to the shore and lowered it slowly into a boat. In my hand, I held a burning touch. Connor never wanted to be buried. He said the maggots and damp would drive him insane.

I pulled out a piece of paper out of my cloak and unfolded it. On it, I had written something for him. It wasn't much but in such short notice and with so much sadness, it was all I could handle.

"To the best brother, I could ever have dreamt of, I'm sorry if this seems rushed. I wasn't expecting you to be taken away from me so soon. I also have so much to say, so much I can't put into words and so much that you don't want to be all day listening to. So I'll try to keep it short," I began smiling through the tears. "Although it feels like I lost you seven years ago, I have thought of you every day since then. Despite everything, I didn't lose hope that I'd at some point see you again and I did. It was a short time but I will never cease to be grateful for those few days that I got to spend with my brother again. It felt like you'd never gone. I believe that you still haven't. I've tried to avoid the cheese sandwich and I know you'll be laughing at me right now but you'll be forever in my heart. Until the day I die. You helped raise me, you protected me, you stuck by me. We grew up together, we struggled together and we laughed together. You always gave anyone that messed with me a piece of mind, just like I did to anyone that messed with you. That's what us Jones' do best. With that being said, you were also pretty good at being my brother. We've had good times and bad times together and admittedly, this is probably a low point but I love you, Connor Jones. And I always will."

I looked to Luca and then to my Dad.

"What she said," he joked as tears escaped his eyes. "Rest in peace my son."

He looked as though he wanted to say more but couldn't without breaking completely down. I wrapped my arm around his waist and together we slowly lowered the flame torch onto the boat and watched as Luca pushed him out into the lake.

"Goodbye, Connor," I said as tears began falling again. My Dad hugged me tightly as I too began to sob.

"Onwards and upwards, baby," he said kissing my head. When I was little he always used to say that and for a minute it seemed like no time had passed. I missed those days. Everything was easier. My mate hadn't killed my brother for a start.

"I miss him so much, Dad," I cried.

"I know and I do too but you aren't alone. You have me and you have Luca," he replied.

"I'll do everything I can to get him to free you," I whispered.

"Don't worry about me, Ells. I've been through a fucking lot. I can deal with a few years in jail."

I smiled and hugged my Dad again.

Luca left us a few minutes later and I sat with my Dad under the willow tree for hours. We chatted for the first time in thirteen years about ordinary stuff. No mention of war or pain or hatred. Just me and my Dad. I told him about Cato, Mathias, Silas, Marie, Francesca, Lili, Zacharias and Stefano and my life for the last decade. He told me stories about his life in the pack before Connor and I were born and how amazed he was that Max Megestanis and I actually get along now. I told him about my Mom and how she had been after he disappeared.

"Poor Mom won't know what to think. On the one hand, she'll have her mate who she thought died 13 years ago back but on the other, she has lost her only son," I said.

"It will be hard for a few years but we will all move on eventually Ella," he replied.