Alpha's Nala novel Chapter 8

Michael Angelo

“Do you hear that?” Bear, my wolf, asks. I could tell his ears were standing up out of attention.

Feeling the sense of urgency from his tone, I put down my pen and listened for a minute. 

Nothing. 

“What am I supposed to be listening to...” I started, annoyed.

“She's singing again.” He cuts me off, fully alert now while I felt his tail wag in excitement.

Knowing what he meant, my eyes widened in realization. I quickly stood up from my seat and sprinted outside my office, heading towards the marble-tiled balcony — leaving pages of reports, from my pile of paperwork, flying to the floor. 

I don't know what to make sense of this reflex action, but I kept on doing this every time my wolf mentions anything related to 'her'. I know it is unusual but through the length of time, it became a bit of a habit, and guilty as I was, I don't know how to stop it now. 

I'm still expecting for a miracle, I guess. 

“Which direction?” I inquired, alert as well.

“Same place Mikee.” Bear stated. I felt him looking in the direction, quite awestruck at the second. 

Knowing already what lies there, I still directed myself to the West.

At first glimpse, you don't see much in that direction other than the vast trees and other wild vegetation. Also, large mountains where the sun sets in the evening and a wide lake... That's about it.

Desperate though, I did ask some of my men to scout the area once; to try and see what truly exists in that place, and to my dismay, they found nothing but pure soil, more plants, and a few riverbanks. 

It is pure nature out there...

I sighed heavily, thinking that he must be imagining stuff again.

He always does this whenever he feels like torturing me, or if he wants me to understand how devastated he was with the loss and how he deeply misses her.

I don't know if he's playing a dangerous game of delusion or just trying to ignite the false hope I have within me, but sometimes everything just gets out of hand; Bear getting reality and imagination all mixed up.

One thing's for sure though, both of us are all messed up...

“She's not there, isn't she?” He asked, much in wonder now.

I internally nod at him. 

“You must be hearing things again,” I responded to him, and he quickly dismissed it, like he always does whenever he was unsure of stuff. 

As for me, like the old times, I stayed there for a little longer. Just listening to my surroundings once more, and silently hoping to hear maybe a glimpse of 'her' pleasant voice. 

Oh, how I adore her voice.

I always love listening to her, particularly when she sings. I do remember how her soft, cool voice calms me whenever I'm in an irritable mood. Or how her sweet husky tunes, when singing nursery rhymes or plain ballads to the pups at the daycare, turns my frown into a smile. And let's not forget the soothing quality of her hums when she's doing lullabies for my sister, whereas it also lulls me to sleep.

Such peaceful, relaxing times, and now, I honestly long for it...

But unlike my wolf, I don't hear a thing; No singing mate for my ears to pick up.

The vibration in the wind to cause sound was definitely calm today. A little whistling of the wind could only be heard, and that's about it.

I sighed in disappointment. 

This is just pointless because deep down, I know, our MATE was already gone... That she's somewhere far yet safe and out of pain...

Though, three long years, and here I am, still a broken man...

Who wouldn't be? 

I, ashamed as I was, neglected my mate, and for what? For being a mere human and fat, which I thought at first was weak and disgusting? 

But I have my reasons, and one of those was my pride. I was the Alpha King and I wanted someone strong and fit for danger to be my Luna Queen. However, after meeting her that day at some random event and realizing she was the complete opposite of what I wanted for a Luna Queen, I felt RAGE. She's nothing compared to what I have imagined, so I did what I knew was best; I neglected my commitments towards her. 

I learned to push her away, that I ended up losing her for good... 

My wolf hated me for that ever since, because he knows what I truly needed, and she was the only one I NEEDED. It was not just me though, but the whole Kingdom and pack needed her. Bear always reminded me that she was everybody's strength and oh how she proved that to everyone one day — most especially me... She was literally perfect, and I appreciate that a little too late now.  

I honestly took 'her' for granted... 

However, I'm still grateful and comforted in some way that my wolf can hear her, even after death. This just proves how deep we — werewolves, are connected to our mate, and how strong our love can be for them that it cannot be changed by any means.

It's not an obsession for some reason — it's just how mate bond works for us...

Some days, I was doing more praying and hoping that wherever she was right now, she's guiding me. Hopefully, directing me to the betterment of our Kingdom and pack, as well as the idea of comforting me — like she always does when she was alive. 

Yet, a part of me still begs for a second chance with her. I know it was wrong to pray for that, but I needed her here, to be with me at all times — To help me be the better man she thought of me to be. 

And then I remember her scent... 

Three years and I couldn't find a scent that matches hers. I attended mating balls and other occasions related to mate searching, but I still search for her scent. Wishing it was around and that it was still existing.

But no, it doesn't exist anymore and no matter how hard I tried to forget about it, I just can't.

She was my everything. If only I treated her right... 

Now, I have to live with the guilt and the agony every single day. My wolf agrees with the punishment I was in, and just thinking about it now, I felt Bear huff his nose at me with that idea.

I couldn't blame him for the way he treats me now anyway, so I learned to accept it. 

Suddenly, I heard footsteps entering my room. When I turn around, I saw Lucky — my Beta, Rocky — my Gamma, and Jay — my best pack warrior, walking towards me.

“Alpha King, Queen Nile wants to see...” Lucky announces but pauses when he stepped on the scattered paperwork. 

“What the hell happened here?” Rocky anxiously asks, looking around the messy floor.

Realizing something, the three of them automatically shot me a suspicious look, like they always do whenever they suspected that I had a furious fit, privately RAMPAGED on things, or worst, go BLOODLUST again...

I don't do any of those now, hopefully never again. 

I'm good, I know... Though, not better — I wish.