Alpha's Regret After Her Rebirth (Hannah and Noah) novel Chapter 71

Her Rebirth 71Her Rebirth 71Chapter 0071
Chapter 0071
Hannah
A few days later, there was a knock on the front door that made me jump. My heart started pounding as set down the book I had been reading and crossed the living room to answer it.
The delivery man didn’t even have time to say anything before I snatched the plain cardboard box from his hands, quickly thanked him, and slammed the door shut again, locking it behind me. I knew exactly what was inside that box without even having to check
I carried it upstairs and into my personal en suite bathroom, my fingers trembling slightly as I used the tiny pair of bathroom scissors to cut through the tape sealing the box closed. Sure enough, there was my usual order from WhiteRabbit-enough diet pills to last me at least another month. Maybe two if I really rationed them out.
As I stared down at the stark white bottles filled with those little blue tablets that had been my crutch for so many years, I felt a churning of various different emotions in my gut: guilt, excitement, relief, anger, sadness… and so much more.
Part of me, the more sane and logical part, was already mentally preparing to march right over to the bathroom and flush every last one of them down the toilet. Just like I had promised myself-no, promised my child, the Moon Goddess, the counselor and the other women in the eating disorder support group- that I would do if I ever felt the urge to relapse again.
But the other part of me, the darker and more insidious part… that part was whispering that I should hang onto them. Just in case of an emergency; after all, what if I suddenly put on a bunch of weight during the pregnancy?
They didn’t have to be gone for good, not really.
My grip tightened ever so slightly around the bottle as that evil voice took hold of me. I could feel the
granted me.
familiar itch, that nagging craving for control over my body that the pills had alwae. I could feel the
Just a few wouldn’t hurt, right? I could take them and still be in control this time, I lied to myself. Not like before. I would wait this time, I would wait until it was absolutely necessary. And then they would be here, waiting.
Eventually, with shaking hands and a shuddering breath, I tucked the bottles deep inside the back corner of the medicine cabinet above the bathroom sink and hid them behind a few other things.
Out of sight, out of mind, I thought to myself… for now, at least. Just in case.
I felt sick with myself as I closed the medicine cabinet door, gritting my teeth against the wave of shame that washed over me upon seeing my reflection staring back at me in the mirror. So much for being strong. So much for getting better,
That night, I spent an hour staring at my gaunt reflection in the bathroom mirror, clutching my knees to my chest as I cried silent tears until my eyes stung and my throat felt raw.
Out of sight… Out of mind.
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The sound of a knock on my bedroom door caused me to look up from my phone. “Come in,” I called out, even though I already knew who it was.
A moment later, my handmaid stepped into the room. “Are you ready, Luna Hannah?” she asked, her eyes roving over my sleek black dress. “Alpha Noah is waiting in the car.”
I sighed and nodded, standing and smoothing down my dress. I had picked something plain and unassuming to wear to tonight’s dinner party-one of Noah’s old friends had just bought a new house and was throwing a housewarming party, and of course we were expected to attend.
“I’m ready.”
A little while later, Noah and I were pulling up to the front of his friend’s new house. It was a sleek modern house with a perfectly-manicured front garden, a Scandinavian sort of design with light wood accents against the dark metal. Not really my style, but it was nice.
Chapter 0072