Alpha's Regret After She Kneels novel Chapter 18

hapter 18

Chapter 18

Siena’s POV

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When Raiden turns to speak to me, his face is impossibly close, too close. His breath is warm against my skin, and I feel the heat of his presence radiating from him. My heart stutters, skipping a beat, and then racing uncontrollably. There’s something about the way he moves, the way he holds himself, that pulls me in. I try to steady my breath, to calm myself down, but it’s as if his mere presence disrupts everything inside me.

But just as my heart begins to race faster, a familiar figure behind him catches my eye. The fluttering in my chest halts, replaced by a sharp, cold twist in my stomach.

Lila.

She’s following behind him, always in his shadow, never far from his side. As a Delta, she’s always there when the pack needs diplomatic representation. She’s perfect for that role. Elegant, poised, graceful. Everything I’ve never been. I watch her, feeling the familiar sting of jealousy surge in my chest, but this time, it’s different.

I don’t feel the fury that used to burn inside me when I saw them together. The rage that used to consume me, making my world spin out of control, is absent. Instead, there’s just a deep, gnawing ache.

I swallow hard and try to push the thoughts away, but they’re persistent. In the past, seeing Raiden with Lila would have set off a storm inside me–jealousy, resentment, the belief that I wasn’t enough. But now? Now, I’ve made up my mind. I want a divorce. I don’t need to be tangled up in this anymore. I’ve had enough.

Raiden’s voice breaks through my thoughts, his tone teasing, but there’s a hint of something else there too. “It’s your turn now, fake wife,” he whispers in my ear.

His voice is low, almost intimate, and it sends a shiver down my spine. I want to pull away, to protect myself from whatever feelings he’s stirring up in me, but I can’t. Not yet.

I clench my jaw, trying to ignore the flutter in my chest. I’ve been here before–too many times, in fact. And each time, it’s the same. He pulls me in, and I get lost in him. I can’t seem to help myself.

But this time, something’s different. My emotions are calmer now, more controlled. I’ve been forced to face the truth: Raiden will never love me the way I want him to. I’ve spent too long living in the shadow of his indifference. The fantasies I once had of us being happy, of being his equal, have all crumbled away.

I force a smile onto my face and nod, acknowledging the role I have to play. I can’t afford to slip up now. Not when I’ve already decided that I need to leave. But as Raiden watches me, there’s something almost approving in his gaze. I notice the way he’s observing me, as if he’s surprised at how well I’m managing the situation.

We’re pretending, and I’m playing my part. The noble in front of us doesn’t know any better. I am poised, natural, the perfect wife. The picture of happiness. I make sure to smile just enough, laugh at the right moments, nod at the right points. But behind the act, I feel a cold distance growing between Raiden and me.

I can feel him looking at me, his eyes lingering longer than they should. There’s something in the way he studies me, something that catches me off guard. Raiden has never really seen me like this before. Not this side of me, the one who’s learned to play the game and keep a tight hold on my emotions.

The noble looks between us, and after a few moments, his gaze shifts to Lila. There’s a subtle shift in the air, a slight tension that wasn’t there before. He says something to Lila–something that I can’t quite catch, but I see her expression change. It’s not much, just a flicker of uncertainty, a shift in her perfect composure.

I notice, and for once, I feel like I’ve won something. I’ve never felt like I was competing for Raiden’s attention before, but now, in this moment, it feels like the tide is shifting. I’m no longer just the woman he tolerates. I’m more than that now.

We leave the noble’s villa after some time, and I can feel Raiden’s attitude toward me shift, ever so slightly. It’s subtle, but it’s there. He’s not as cold, not as distant. He’s not looking at me with that same disregard I’ve grown used to. He’s almost…

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08:36 Sun, 20 Apr

Chapter 18

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softer. I don’t know what to make of it, but part of me feels a flicker of hope. Maybe things are changing. Maybe this will be different.

Lila’s voice pulls me back to the moment. She begins to speak, relaying the latest details about the competition. I’m only half–listening, my mind focused on the strange shift in Raiden’s behavior, on the growing tension between us. But as Lila speaks, I catch something off. She mentions some details about the competition, and I know immediately that they’re wrong. I’ve been studying this competition for weeks now. I know the details inside and out. What she’s saying doesn’t match up with what I’ve learned.

I can’t just let this slide. Not this time. I won’t let her undermine me.

I interrupt, my voice steady as I point out the discrepancies. I’m calm, composed, but inside, there’s a rush of adrenaline. This is my moment. This is my chance to stand up for myself. To show them that I am not just some woman who will be overlooked. I’ve been underestimated for too long.

Lila’s eyes narrow, her smile faltering for the briefest of moments. She looks at me like I’ve just crossed some invisible line, and for a second, I wonder if she’ll snap. But instead, her expression shifts to something else–something almost like hurt. It’s a fake expression, I know that, but it still catches me off guard.