Alpha's Regret After She Kneels novel Chapter 38

Chapter 38

(Siena’s POV)

My phone rings sharply in the darkness, jolting me awake so violently that, for a moment, I struggle to remember where I

am

My heart pounds wildly in my chest as I fumble blindly for the device, eyes still blurry with sleep

“Siena,” Rairity’s urgent voice cuts through the haze, instantly clearing the fog and filling me with dread. “It’s Eli–he collapsed. They’re taking him to the medical center now.

My breath catches painfully, guilt stabbing sharply through my chest. I’m on my way.” I whisper hoarsely, my voice shaking with sudden fear.

I throw aside the covers, the night’s chill biting at my bare skin as I stumble from bed.

My hands tremble so violently that it takes several tries to pull on clothes–whatever I can grab first–before racing toward the door. My wolf whines mournfully inside me, sensing my panic, her worry mingling painfully with mine.

The corridors are empty and silent, lit only by dim emergency lights. My footsteps echo sharply as I sprint through the shadowed halls, my heart thudding painfully against my ribs.

Fear wraps tight fingers around my throat, choking me with thoughts of Eli’s pale face earlier tonight, the exhaustion Id seen but ignored.

My stomach twists sharply in bitter self–recrimination–had I pushed him too far, too relentlessly? Is this not a sign of inexperience?

Impostor.

By the time I burst into the medical center, my pulse pounds so loudly I can barely hear. The sterile scent of antiseptic assaults me, and harsh lights blind me after the dim corridors. Rairity stands anxiously in the waiting area, her usually calm expression tense with worry.

“What’s happening?” I gasp breathlessly, chest tight with guilt and dread. “Is he-?”

“The doctor’s with him,” she says quickly, gently squeezing my trembling hand. They’re running tests now.”

1 slump into a stiff plastic chair, burying my face briefly in shaking hands. “This is my fault,” I whisper painfully, my voice cracking with guilt. I pushed them too hard, Kair. I was so desperate–so desperate to prove Windhowl’s worth, to prove my own–that I endangered them

The confession burns bitterly on my tongue, shame stabbing sharply through my heart. Tears sting behind my eyelids, but I refuse to let them fall.

The warriors look to me for strength. Don’t crumble now. Breathe, you can do this–Alpha.

“You did what any good leader would’ve done.” Rairity says firmly, though her voice trembles slightly. “You fought for your pack’s dignity. Eli knows that.”

Her words offer little comfort, but I nod weakly, grateful for her loyalty.

Still, self–blame coils painfully in my stomach, the ache of my mistakes gnawing relentlessly at my conscience.

Minutes stretch painfully into what feels like hours, the waiting room silent except for the faint hum of machines and our own anxious breathing.

E

Chapter 38

I pace restlessly, hands running nervously through my tangled, sleep–mussed hair, my thoughts torturous with worry

Every second feels like an eternity, dread building relentlessly

When the doctor finally steps out, his expression is serious but calm, and I nearly crumble in relief. “He’s stable,” he announces, offering a reassuring smile. “Severe exhaustion and dehydration, but his heart shows no additional damage”

The tension releases so suddenly that my knees buckle, and I lean heavily against the nearest wall, eyes closed, murmuring a shaky prayer of gratitude to the Moon Goddess for her mercy.

Tears slip quietly down my cheeks, relief flooding so powerfully it leaves me dizzy. “Thank you,” I whisper hoarsely, my voice thick with emotion

He nods kindly before returning to Eli’s room, leaving us momentarily alone in the quiet hallway. I draw a slow, steadying breath, trying to regain control of my scattered emotions.

As I turn to leave, I collide abruptly with a solid chest, a familiar scent–pine and midnight–wrapping around me, warm yet painfully nostalgic.

My pulse quickens sharply, heart stuttering unevenly as I look up into Raiden’s unreadable face of granite.

“What are you doing here?” I ask softly, too drained, too vulnerable in this moment to keep my usual defenses intact. My voice quivers slightly, betraying the ache of longing I usually hide carefully away.

Something flickers briefly in his midnight–blue eyes, something soft and unguarded–concern, worry perhaps before vanishing behind practiced neutrality. “I heard about your warrior,” he replies quietly, his voice gentler than usual. I came to ensure proper care was being provided,”

I

His explanation sounds forced, formal, and entirely inadequate compared to the genuine worry I glimpsed.

My wolf whines softly, recognizing the subtle signs of his concern. I ache desperately for closeness, for him to finally admit what I see flickering deep within his guarded gaze.

“Not now. He is no longer our mate.” I scold back.

For a moment, we stand close enough that I can feel the warmth of his breath and sense the tension radiating from his powerful frame.

Memories of happier times flicker through me, of nights spent safely wrapped in his arms, his strength a sanctuary I’d once believed eternal.

I cannot make sense if it is pain–or pleasure.

“You should rest,” he murmurs softly, voice strained with suppressed emotion. His hand lifts slightly, fingers hovering uncertainly near my cheek as if longing to ease the strain etched into my features.

My heart pounds sharply with fragile hope, misplaced though it is.

Yet before his touch reaches me, his phone vibrates harshly, illuminating the darkness between us.

Lila’s name flashes coldly across the screen, shattering our fragile moment instantly.

Lila

His expression shutters swiftly, the walls between us rising once more.

He steps back abruptly jaw tightening sharply, eyes distant again. “Excuse me,” he murmurs stiffly, retreating quickly down. the corridor without another glance.

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MUIL Z1 ADI

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Chapter 38

I watch him go silently, my wolf whines mournfully, crushed beneath fresh rejection

The ache feels unbearably familiar yet still as raw and agonizing as ever.

“Do you see? See how he has no love for us?” I scold my wolf, hoping that this fresh wounding is enough to silence her for

the night.

Rarity’s gentle hand touches my arm, drawing me back from my painful thoughts. “Come on, Siena, she whispers softly. “Let’s check on Eli, then you should rest

I nod weakly, following her numbly into Eli’s room. My warrior lies quietly asleep, color returning slowly to his cheeks. I gently brush a strand of damp hair from his forehead, guilt, and affection mingling painfully inside me.

I’m sorry,” I whisper softly, my voice shaking slightly. “Ill never push you like this again.”

Rarity squeezes my shoulder gently, compassionate silence in her eyes. “You did your best, Siena. Eli knows that.”

I sigh quietly, exhaustion weighing heavily on my heart. “Maybe–but my best nearly cost him.”

As I move quietly toward the exit sometime later, the quiet halls feel oppressive, my steps slow and heavy. Outside, the cool night air brushes softly against my face, soothing yet unable to ease the ache deep within my chest.

My wolf curls miserably inside me, mourning what we never truly had