Alpha's Regret After She Kneels novel Chapter 59

Chapter 59

(Siena’s POV)

I can’t sleep.

The moonlight spills into my room, soft and silvery, but it doesn’t soothe me.

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It only sharpens the ache in my chest, the one that’s been growing for weeks now, threading itself deeper and deeper into my soul.

The bond is weakening–I feel it slipping further with every passing day, unraveling like a frayed rope I no longer have the strength to hold onto.

For years, I thought I was ready for this, ready for the moment when the tether between Raiden and me would finally break. But now, as it begins to crumble, it doesn’t feel like freedom.

It feels like loss–death.

Am I the walking dead?

I toss and turn, the sheets tangling around me as my thoughts spiral.

Tomorrow is the final unity challenge, and I should be resting, preparing.

But how do you prepare for something that demands harmony with someone who’s spent years rejecting you?

How do you fake unity when every interaction feels like a battle between hope and despair?

A soft knock interrupts my restless thoughts. I sit up, startled, glancing at the clock. It’s late–too late for visitors–but the knock comes again, hesitant but insistent. I push the blankets aside and cross the room, opening the door to find Rairity standing there.

She looks nervous, her brows drawn together, her tablet clutched tightly in her hands. “Siena, I’m sorry to bother you,” she begins, her words rushed, “but you need to see this.”

I gesture for her to come in, closing the door behind her. She holds out the tablet, the screen glowing softly in the dim light. “It’s the latest report from the outreach efforts,” she explains, her voice tinged with excitement. “The numbers are incredible.”

I take the tablet and skim the report. It’s filled with statistics, comments, and summaries of public opinion. One phrase stands out immediately: The Alpha Luna.

Rairity notices where my eyes linger and smiles. “That’s what they’re calling you,” she says. “The Alpha Luna. A leader in her own right.”

The words hit me gleefully.

For so long, that title was all I ever wanted. I dreamed of being recognized, validated, seen–not just as Raiden’s Luna, but as a leader, an equal. And now, after years of fighting, after years of being overlooked and dismissed, people are finally seeing

1. me.

It should feel like victory. And it does, in a way. But it’s a bittersweet kind of comfort, one that settles heavily in my chest.

Does he know?

“You’ve earned this,” Rairity says, her tone full of pride. “The pack believes in you. They trust you.”

Chapter 59

I hand the tablet back to her and force a smile. “Thank you, Rairity.”

Her expression softens, and for a moment, she hesitates. “Are you okay?”

The question catches me off–guard, and I don’t know how to answer. Am I okay? I don’t think I’ve been okay in years.

“I will be,” I say finally, the words sounding hollow even to my own cars.

Rairity nods, though she doesn’t look entirely convinced. “If you need anything, you know where to find me.”

I thank her again, and she leaves, her footsteps fading down the hallway.

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I close the door behind her and lean against it, letting out a long, shaky breath. My chest feels tight, my thoughts heavy, and the ache of the bond gnaws at me like a dull, persistent pain.

Another knock startles me, sharper and more deliberate this time. For a moment, I consider ignoring it, but something compels me to open the door again.

Raiden stands there, his midnight eyes shadowed with something I can’t quite place.

“May I come in?” he asks, his voice low, almost hesitant.

The request surprises me. For years, he’s acted as though my space, my boundaries, were irrelevant–like he had the right to walk into my life whenever he pleased, regardless of the damage he left behind.

This small act of respect feels like a shift, though I don’t trust it.

Against my better judgment, I step aside and let him in.

He moves slowly, his usual confidence replaced by something quieter, more uncertain. He stops near the window, his hands clasped behind his back, his fixed on the floor.

gaze

“I’ve been researching your father’s medical records,” he says abruptly, his voice breaking the silence.

The statement throws me completely off–balance. Of all the things he could have said, I didn’t expect this.

“Why?” I ask, my tone sharper than I intended.

He looks up, and for the first time in years, I see something raw in his expression. Vulnerability. “Because I should have known,” he says. “Because I’m trying to understand what I missed.”

His words send a jolt through me, stirring emotions I don’t want to feel. Anger, sadness, confusion, and something that feels dangerously close to hope.

“You missed everything,” I say quietly, my voice steadier than I feel. “You missed who I actually am.”

To my surprise, he doesn’t argue. He doesn’t deflect or deny. Instead, he nods, a small, almost imperceptible movement that feels heavier than any words he could have spoken.

“I’m beginning to see that,” he admits, his tone soft, almost gentle.

The simple acknowledgment, this quiet confession of failure, hits me harder than I expect. It’s not forgiveness–not yet- but it feels like the first step toward… something. Understanding, maybe. Closure.

But all of a sudden, an inner rage begins to rumble deep within me. The thought of all teh years I was his kicking post–his play thing. The thought of all I’d sacrifieed.

I don’t know what to say. For years, I dreamed of hearing him admit he was wrong, that he failed me. But now that it’s happening, it feels… bittersweet.

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Chapter 59

“We both know the Eastern Coalition could have sent anyone. Twenty–three diplomats who would have been eager for the assignment. Yet suddenly, now that Windhowl has secured the silver mining rights, now that my leadership has been formally acknowledged by the High Council, you appear on my doorstep.”

He turns slowly, “Is that what you think?” he asks, his voice dangerously soft. “That I’m here because you’ve finally proven yourself worthy of my attention?”

The laugh that escapes me is harsh and brittle. “Worthy? That’s rich, coming from you. You made it perfectly clear what you thought of my worth when you blocked every proposal I brought to the council for two years. When you convinced the Northern Packs to embargo our trading routes. When you–”

My voice catches, but I force myself to continue. “When you told my father on his deathbed that Windhowl would be better off absorbed into your territory.”

Raiden’s composure finally cracks, a flash of anger contorting his features.

“Your father was dying because of his own stubborn refusal to see reality! Xeno was poisoning himself and your pack with delusions of independence when you were hemorrhaging resources. I offered salvation!”