Alpha's Regret After She Kneels novel Chapter 73

#Chapter 73: The Past That Haunts

#Chapter 73: The Past That Haunts

(Raiden’s POV)

The office is empty, but it doesn’t feel that way.

It’s been six months since Siena left, and yet I can feel her presence in every corner of this room. Her scent lingers faintly, a mix of lavender and something distinctly hers, though it’s fading with time.

The desk, still meticulously ordered, holds the remnants of her leadership–organized documents, handwritten notes, carefully laid–out plans for Windhowl and its future.

I stand at the center of the room, staring at it all.

I don’t belong here, not really. This was her space, her sanctuary, the place where she poured herself into this pack with a dedication I never appreciated until it was too late.

My hands rest on the back of the chair she used to sit in, my fingers tightening around the wood as I try to reconcile the weight of her absence.

The papers on the desk catch my eye. I’m drawn to them despite myself, like a man compelled to pick at a wound even though he knows it’ll hurt. The first thing I see is her handwriting, neat and deliberate.

I reach out, hesitating for a moment before lifting the top document: Youth Mentorship Initiative.

The binder is thick, filled with pages of detailed plans. Recruitment strategies. Training schedules. Goals for the program. She thought of everything, down to the finest details.

Even now, even gone, she’s still building.

It’s not just this project–there are others. Succession plans. Pack development initiatives. Notes for alliances and trade agreements.

She left Windhowl not only prepared to move forward without her but poised to thrive. She didn’t just walk away–she made sure the pack wouldn’t fall apart in her absence.

I sit down in her chair, running my hand along the smooth surface of the desk, and try to imagine what it must have been like for her in those final days.

Did she know she wouldn’t be coming back?

Did she sit here, in this very spot, penning these notes with the knowledge that she was leaving everything behind?

Did she hesitate?

The thought twists in my chest, sharp and unforgiving.

I failed her.

Not just once, but over and over again. I let her fight alone. I let her carry the weight of my rejection while I convinced myself it was her fault, that she wasn’t enough.

And now, she’s thriving without me.

“She’s building medical clinics in Thailand now.”

The voice startles me, though I don’t show it. I glance up to see Rairity standing in the doorway, arms crossed over her chest. Her expression is hard, her eyes are sharp, watching me closely.

“She’s teaching werewolf children in rural areas,” Rairity continues, stepping further into the room. “Kids who’ve never had formal education. She’s been there for few weeks now.”

“She sends updates about Windhowl,” Rairity replies flatly. “She still cares about this pack. She always has.”

“Youwouldn’t know it,” i snoted.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Rarity snapped in a sudden fury, that if I wasn’t Alpha King, I might’ve found a slight itimiataing.

The unspoken accusation in her words is impossible to ignore. Siena still cares. Siena always cared. I’m the one who didn’t. But that’s no excuse. She didn’t have to leave. I swallow hard, my gaze dropping back to the desk. “And she refuses all my communications. It doesn’t bode well to be in absscene and run a pack byporxy. I don’t care who you think you are.” Rairity raises an eyebrow, her expression hardening. “You rejected her for ten years, Raiden. She’s respecting your example of how mates should treat each other.”

The words are brutal, cutting through me like a blade. Horace growls softly in the back of my mind, restless and agitated, but I can’t argue with her. She’s right.

What did I expect she’d do?

1/3

#Chapter 73: The Past That Haunts

I turn my attention back to the papers on the desk, desperate to focus on something–anything–other than the truth in Rairity voice, or the fury in her eyes. “I never wanted this,” I say quietly, though I’m not sure if I’m talking to her or myself.

Rairity doesn’t respond immediately. When she does, her tone is cold. “You didn’t want this? What did you want, Raiden? Because it sure as hell wasn’t her.”

The question is unanswerable as it is unbearable.

I don’t know what I wanted.

I only know what I’ve lost.

“She’s not looking back,” Rairity says after a long pause. “She’s building something without you. And honestly? I think she’s better off.”

The words are a slap to the face, but they’re not meant to be cruel. They’re meant to be honest. And they are.

Still, I feel the burning of fury, of injustice that courses through my veins. I want to remind Raiarty who she is talking to, but

I am held fast, silnet–the image of Siena, my siens looking mournfully back at me that fateful day.

It is for her I hold my tongue and respect this acting Alpha.

For her and no other.

I don’t ask for the updates, but they keep coming.

“I thought you’d want to know–Siena’s initiative with the Frost Ridge orphans has secured housing for seventeen cubs.”

Seventeen cubs. She always did care more than anyone about the abandoned ones.

“And this concerns Windhowl how, exactly?”

“The alliance she’s forming between the northern territories could strengthen our trading positions. She’s… she’s creating something impressive up there.”

Of course she is. She’s building a legacy while I’m drowning in paperwork and politics. The distance between us grows with every achievement of hers I hear about.

“Is there anything actually relevant to report? Pack threats? Border disputes? Anything that falls under your actual duties?”

Raiarity shifts uncomfortably

“With respect, knowing our allies‘ movements is my duty. And Siena’s influence is growing. Three packs now look to her for leadership, though she refuses any formal title.”

Refuses titles but accepts the power. That’s so like her. The anger burns hotter.

Why am I angry? Because she’s succeeding? Or because she’s doing it without me?

“She always did have a talent for collecting strays.”

“There’s more. She’s implementing that integration program she proposed here–the one you…”

The one I rejected. The one I called idealistic and dangerous.

“Spare me the details of her social experiments.”

“It’s working, Raiden. Werewolf medical clinics, shared educational resources. The territories under her guidance haven’t had a single exposure incident in months.”

The heat rises to my chest, my throat. I want to break something. I want to run north and see for myself. I want to ask her how she’s doing what I said couldn’t be done.

“Anything else? Or did you just come to deliver Siena’s growing list of accomplishments?”

Raiarity meets my eyes, something like pity in her gaze. My pulse thunders in my ears.

“Alpha, her work is becoming Windhowl’s concern. Ignoring her won’t make her influence disappear.”

No, but maybe it will make this ache disappear. This fury that burns hotter with every story of her success without me.

“We’re done here.”

As he turns to leave, I can’t stop myself

“Is she-” I catch myself “Never mind. Just go.”

Is she happy?

That’s what I wanted to ask–the one answer I couldn’t bear to hear.

Every report feels like a glimpse into a life that no longer includes me. A life she’s building for herself far away from everything we were–or weren’t.

She was always enough. More than enough.

And I was too blind to see it.