Alpha's Regret After She Kneels novel Chapter 82

#Chapter 82: The Sleepless

(Siena’s POV)

I don’t sleep.

Raiden’s words replay in my mind over and over, as insistent as the spring rain drumming against the windows of my temporary quarters.

I love you, Siena.

Not as a political arrangement or a convenient alliance, but for exactly who you are.

For years, I longed to hear those words. I would’ve given anything to hear them spoken with sincerity, to look into his eyes and see the love I desperately sought.

But now, when they finally come, they feel less like a balm and more like a thorn pressed into an old wound.

Because now, I know what it feels like to stand on my own. Now, I know I don’t need his love to be whole.

Yet, despite everything, I can’t stop thinking about the way he said it–without pleading, without expectation, as if he knew his declaration wouldn’t change anything. He said it because he needed me to know, not because he needed something in

return.

And somehow, that quiet dignity, that uncharacteristic humility, cuts deeper than any grand gesture ever could.

My wolf’s emotions are a chaotic swirl.

She doesn’t care about logic or independence.

She only knows that something of the bond we once shared still lingers, faint but unbroken.

I pace the room, the soft carpet muffling my steps. My thoughts churn, refusing to settle. How do I reconcile who I’ve become with the man Raiden claims to be now? Can I trust this change, or is it simply too late?

The first light of dawn creeps through the curtains before I finally stop pacing. I know I have to leave soon, but I can’t shake the heaviness pressing on my chest.

***

The air is misty and cool as I stand at Windhowl’s boundary stone, the traditional departure point for visiting Alphas. Rairity stands beside me, her quiet presence grounding as always.

“You seem troubled, Alpha,” she observes, her voice soft but steady.

I glance at her, then back at the horizon, where the mist swirls like a restless spirit. For a moment, I consider brushing her off, but the words slip out before I can stop them.

“Raiden said he loves me,” I admit, my voice barely above a whisper.

Rairity doesn’t react immediately. She simply tilts her head slightly, her expression thoughtful. “Does that change your plans?”

The question forces me to confront the thoughts I’ve been avoiding all night. I take a deep breath, the cool air filling my lungs. “I’ve built something meaningful without him,” I say slowly, as if speaking the words aloud will make them more real. ” I’ve found purpose, independence, strength he never permitted me to discover during our marriage.”

Rairity nods, her gaze steady. “And yet?”

Her gentle prompt hits a nerve, and I exhale sharply. “And yet forgiveness might be possible eventually,” I admit, the words tasting bittersweet. “Though reconciliation remains… uncertain.”

The distinction feels important, a line I need to draw for myself. Forgiveness is about letting go of the anger, releasing the hold the past has on me. But reconciliation? That’s a choice, a bridge I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready to rebuild.

Rairity doesn’t push me further. She simply nods, her understanding clear in the way she stands beside me, silent but supportive.

As I prepare to leave, the sound of footsteps approaching through the mist catches my attention.

My wolf perks up, and before I turn, I know who it is.

Raiden emerges from the fog, his broad frame moving with deliberate calm. He looks composed, but there’s something in his midnight eyes–something softer, more vul

“Siena,” he greets, his voice low and steady.

“Raiden,” I reply, my tone neutral but not unkind.

what’s the tighten. Successfully unlocked!

For a moment, neither of us speaks. The mist swirls around us, and the silence feels heavy, charged with all the things we haven’t said.

The Senten

Then, he holds out a smal wooden box, the polished surface gleaming fantly in the dim light

2 traditional sating gift,” he says simply his tone free of expectation. “Safe journey”

Thestate, my fingers hovering over the box before I take it from him. His hand brushes mine briefly the warmth of his touch lingering even as he steps back

“Thank you” I say softly the weght of the box unfamiliar in my hands.

Henots, he gaze sready but unreadable. “Open the says

(if the lid carefully revealing a delicately carved compass nestled inside. The craftsmanship is equate the micate designs etched into the wood depicting ancient werewolf symbols for guidance and finding ones me path

I stare at the compass, my fingers tracing the carvings as Horace stirs agan, her emotions a mix of curcosity and reluctant

“May it guide you tome, Raden says quietly, his voice carrying an undercument of something I can’t quite name. “Whateve home means for you now?

His words catch me off guard. They’re simple chassuring but they carry a weight that feels almost tangible he lent asking me to come back. He isn’t demanding anything of me. He’s acknowledging my journey my independence, and the life I’ve built for mysek

And that, more than anything unsettles the carefully maintained equilibrium ve worked so hard to presene.

Raden I begin, my voice faltering slightly

He meets my gaze, his midnight eyes filled with a quiet intensity that makes it hard to breathe

The… means more than you know I say finaly the words barely above a whisper

Raider’s eyes soften as he watches me, the midnight depths quiet and reflective beneath the cloudy evening sko

A smal, almost imperceptible smile tugs gently at the corners of his mouth, and something warm and fragile blossoms in my chest at seeing that expression again–the one I’d falen in love with so many years ago, the one I thought I’d never

witness agan

Tim glad he says simply his voice gentle but sincere.

There’s no trace of arrogance or pride, none of the cold formality be once wielded as a barrier between us. Now, he seems stripped bare, vulnerable, expressing a humility I never imagined he’d possess.

For a moment, we stand there in silence, the mist wrapping around us like a shroud. My heart beats unevenly, tangled in emotions I carit fully name.

Raiden shifts slightly, his gaze drifting briefly away staring thoughtfully into the mist as though searching for answers neither of us fully understands.

“Safe journey, Siena, he murmurs, sincerity clear in the gentle timbre of his voice.

Thank you! I reply quietly, my tone matching his, my heart tightening softly at the simple warmth of his words.

I find myself hesitating, reluctant to leave this fragile moment behind.

Memories rise unbidden–our shared past, the laughter once exchanged so freely, the quiet intimacy we’d once taken for granted. I remember how deeply it hurt when it all unraveled, how desperately I struggled to rebuild myself from the pieces left behind.

Yet here, tonight, beneath the whispering trees and drifting mist, I sense a subtle shift–the possibility of something healed, something new, emerging from the shadows of old wounds.

I lift my gaze, searching Raiden’s eyes carefully, wondering if he feels the same quiet hope stirring beneath this fragile truce His expression remains gentle, thoughtful, tinged with sadness that mirrors my own.

Slowly, as if afraid of shattering something delicate, he reaches out, gently brushing a strand of hair from my cheek